Notes:
I’m a terrible person, I promise you sexytimes and then I have to work
other people in and this thing gets even longer. Next one, sexy, I swear. This one brings Heather back into play,
because I couldn’t get this close to the end of the story without her. Still…close, guys! So close!
Title:
Love Letters
Part Thirty-Seven:
Don’t Be That Way, Just Be Your Way
***
It turned out Ben didn’t spend
Thanksgiving alone. He had planned to,
it was all settled, just him and a frozen turkey dinner because yes, sometimes
Ben really was that unmotivated, but in the end he was surprised with good food
and better company.
The food came from all over the
place. Ben had no clue how people got
the idea that he didn’t eat—he ate every single day, even if sometimes it was
nothing more complex than cold cereal and pizza. On rare occasions he’d cook something huge
and complex that he could freeze and eat from for weeks, but when he was in the
middle of edits Ben couldn’t be bothered.
Linda knew that, and she’d started a tradition a few years ago of
sending him care packages when he was in the throes of the second draft—never
for the first draft, because, as Linda put it, she didn’t like to encourage
sloth. But second draft care packages
were along the lines of giving a puppy a treat for good behavior, her way of
encouraging Ben to take the time to be a real boy who could afford to take a
break and eat some real food since he’d gotten the worst of his work out of the
way.
The day before Thanksgiving, Ben opened
the door to a harried-looking Whole Foods employee who was carrying two big
bags. “Delivery for Benjamin DeWitt,” he
said, huffing a little under the weight of the bags.
“That’s me.”
“Awesome.” A second later Ben found his arms full of
paper sacks that were practically enough to bow his back. “There you go, man. No need to tip, the lady already did. Happy Thanksgiving.” He was gone in a moment, and Ben kicked the
door shut with his foot and staggered to the kitchen, where he put the bags
down and opened the card lying on top.
At least I didn’t have it delivered by singing telegram this
time! Eat up, Benjamin, you have to keep
your strength up for the third round.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Linda
PS—there’s enough for two, just in case!
Well…huh. It was a nice thought, even though Ben had no
one to share it with. He opened the bags
to see what was inside.
Sweet potato casserole, pumpkin pie,
green beans and almonds, creamed onions, two different types of stuffing, cranberry
sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, a bag of rolls and a turkey that had to weigh at
least fifteen pounds that was still warm from the oven. Enough for two? Was Linda used to feeding pro athletes? Ben put the food into the fridge, taking a
little stuffing and green beans for lunch, because why not? No one would tell him no. He sent Linda a quick text thanking her for
the food, and figured that was the end of it.
Except it wasn’t, not quite. Michael, who was naturally too busy to get
Thanksgiving free, nevertheless sent Ben a gift certificate for a local
restaurant that would be open for the holiday.
Ben even got a box full of homemade cookies from his father’s
family. Some of them were shaped like
pumpkins while the rest were clearly cut from the imprint of a small child’s
hand, and iced to look like turkeys.
They all had sprinkles, copious amounts of sprinkles, and pieces of candy corn that Ben was sure he’d break a tooth on they were so hard, but he
appreciated the thought.
“It was Carly’s idea,” his father
explained to him that evening when he called to say thank you. “She made them for her class and insisted
that we send some to you. I’m glad they
made it okay.”
“Yeah, the cookies are fine. Why are they celebrating an American holiday
in the schools up there?”
“They aren’t. Last week was a cultural appreciation
festival, and everyone had to pick something that wasn’t Canadian. Carly chose Thanksgiving. Her mom worked for hours on a pilgrim costume,
and I was on snack duty.”
“She seems to like dressing up.”
“Budding actress, maybe. She’s going to be a snowflake for the holiday
play, and she’s already fretting about her outfit being sparkly enough.”
“Boys must be so much easier,” Ben
said. He knew he’d been a
low-maintenance child and as close to independent as was possible for a
teenager while still living in the same house as his mother. No drama, no discussion, no fights or
arguments. Just two people living
together and mostly staying out of each other’s way. It was like the perfect roommate situation.
“These ones aren’t as easy as you’d
think, between the sports and the injuries that go along with them. And my girls have a certain charm.” There was a moment of silence before his dad
said, “I’m sorry, you know, that I wasn’t there when you were—”
“It isn’t a problem,” Ben interrupted,
really, really not wanting to talk
about it. “I understand.”
“Sure, Ben.” His father heaved a sigh that still sounded
remorseful, and no. Just no.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay? Tell everyone I said hi.”
“I’ll do that, son.”
Ben hung up and stared at the
phone. Son. It wasn’t a term he was used to having
directed at him, and he wasn’t sure he wanted it to be. Ben was done with playing a subordinate role
to supposed authority figures, he had been for over a decade. He wasn’t about to start again.
Except with Linda, but she didn’t
count. Linda was the evil queen of
everything, and her power could not be denied.
The holiday’s biggest surprise came in
the form of a knock on the door around two in the afternoon. Ben was in the process of heating up his
feast, and he really hoped it wasn’t another delivery person, because it was
just mean to make them work on Thanksgiving.
But it wasn’t a delivery person, even though she was carrying things.
“Hi!” Heather said brightly. She had a six-pack in one hand and a box of
pizza in the other. “I come bearing
gifts.”
“What are you doing here?” Ben asked, stunned.
“I thought you were still in Capetown.”
“I got a deal on an early ticket and I
was kind of done with that scene, so I decided to come back a little
early. And now I’m freezing my ass off
on your doorstep, so…how about you let me in before the grease congeals on the
pizza?”
“Oh fuck, right.” Ben moved aside and Heather came in, just
like she had up until her departure four months ago. She walked straight into the kitchen, then
stopped abruptly.
“Um…wait. Am I interrupting something? Are you having an actual, real, honest-to-God
Thanksgiving dinner?” She glanced at him
and lowered her voice. “Do you have a
guy over? Do I need to leave?”
“There’s no one else here,” Ben assured
her. “The food was a gift from my agent. I was just going to eat it by myself, and
there’s way too much for just one person, so it’s a good thing you’re here.” He took the pizza and beer from her and set
them on the counter so she could get out of her mittens and heavy coat. “Actually, why are you here?”
“Dude, I just told you—”
“No, I know why you’re back in America,
I just don’t know why you’re here instead of with your family. Don’t you have a ludicrous number of siblings
all anxious to see you?”
“Exactly,” Heather groaned. “And they’ll bother me and ask me a million
questions and my parents will smother me, and I’m just not ready for that. I haven’t told them I’m back yet, and I won’t
until tomorrow, if you’re willing to let me sleep on the couch.”
“It’s your couch, you know that,” Ben
said. “Let’s get some food and watch
some Battlestar Galactica.”
“You are a god among men,” Heather
enthused, grabbing a plate and loading it down with turkey. “I haven’t been able to watch anything since
my iPad mostly died last month—did you know you have to use a voltage regulator
to keep your shit from blowing up over there?
Because I didn’t know until the damn thing actually started smoking,
like literally, my iPad cord started to smoke.
I started crying, it was so depressing.”
“You can get a new one now that you’re
back.”
“Eh,” she said, the verbal equivalent
of a shrug, and went into the living room to set things up.
They settled into the couch like she’d
never been gone, and ate in silence for a while as they watched “You Can’t Go
Home Again,” Heather’s comfort episode when it came to BSG. After the food was gone and they were kind of
slumped together, Heather said, “It wasn’t what I expected.”
“What, Africa?”
“Yeah, Africa. The trip in general. I thought I’d be happy, you know, getting
things off my mind and doing whatever I wanted and seeing the world. And I was, sometimes. Definitely had some adventures, and I don’t
regret going. But mostly I just missed
home. I really missed being here, and I
missed my family, and I missed you. I
even missed work.” Heather turned to
look at Ben, and her eyes were a little shiny.
“I guess I’m really not meant to be with someone like Sarah, you
know? I’m not an intrepid explorer or an
adventurer. I’m not like that.” She gestured toward the screen at
Starbuck. “I’m just me.”
“I like you this way,” Ben told her,
completely honest. “You don’t need to
look to other people or other places to find meaning in your life, to be
happy. There’s nothing wrong with being
happy with what you have. I think that’s
great. I think you’re great.”
“Aww, you’re the best boyfriend a
lesbian could have,” Heather cooed, deliberately breaking the mood. Ben was grateful.
“And you make a lovely girlfriend. Now shut up and watch the show.”
“Oh, fine.” She stayed silent until the episode was over,
then took a pull of her beer and said, “But seriously, you’re having Ryan over
at Christmas, right? I’ll give you some
space.”
“I don’t think he’d know what to do
with space at this point,” Ben said. “And
he’s not coming until the twenty-sixth.”
Ben still had no idea how Heather had wrangled information about Ryan
out of him from half a world away, but she had a method for getting him to open
up that basically revolved around being uncomfortably direct when she thought he
was holding something back. Ben
appreciated the candor, even if he wasn’t always comfortable with the subject
matter. “You’re welcome to visit while
he’s here.”
“Oh, I’m totally going to bug you guys
while he’s here, don’t worry about that.
And you know Michael’s going to want some face time too, so don’t think
you’re getting out of anything. But I
think you’ll need some space, too. You
like space.”
“I like company,” Ben protested. “And Ryan loves being around people.”
Heather rolled her eyes. “I’m thinking he’s going to love being around
just you more. You’ve hardly ever had
any time alone together, and this is your second chance, right? A fresh start, kind of? You should begin as you mean to go on, and
that means privacy.”
Ben stared at her for a moment, then
said, “Since when do you read Charles Spurgeon?”
“Fuck off, I can make up poetic things
without help!” Neither of them moved for
a long moment, then Heather said, “Okay, fine, I might have been googling
motivational quotes and that one stuck a little. And screw you for knowing who said it first,
are you sure you don’t have a photographic memory?”
“Yes.”
Heather left the next morning after a
cold pizza breakfast, and November turned to December which turned to Christmas
with startling rapidity. Ben worked and
went out with Michael and stayed in with Heather, had awkward but persistent
conversations with his father that were slowly getting easier, and sent out
more gifts that year than he ever had before.
He got pictures back from the recipients: all of his siblings holding up
their gift cards to the camera (he didn’t know what they wanted, he’d just done
what his dad had suggested and they seemed to like it), Molly and Joey with
books Ryan had recommended (as well as another signed copy of his book that
Molly wanted for her teacher, who was apparently over the moon at the mere thought
of it), the big bouquets of flowers for Ryan’s mother and sister-in-law and a goofy
picture of Ryan in all of his new winter gear, which Ben had decided on when
Ryan mentioned he’d always wanted to try skiing. Ben hadn’t been in years but he had always
enjoyed it, and he figured it would make a good day trip while Ryan was here.
And then it was the day. The Day. It capitalized itself without Ben wanting it
to, insistent in its importance even when Ben would have preferred it to be
just another day. His heart wouldn’t let
it, though. It wasn’t just another day,
it was the first time Ben was going to see Ryan in six months, and he couldn’t
help putting it up on something of a pedestal.
He knew he shouldn’t, but six months was a long time, and despite
knowing that he’d done the right thing in breaking things off and then
insisting they take it slow to start up again, Ben felt like he was going to
jump out of his skin with restlessness.
He got to the airport two hours early,
just in case the laws of physics bent enough to allow Ryan’s flight to warp
space and time. He paced the marble
floor of the enormous arrivals area, leaving the few seats on the sides for the
mothers. The place was packed with
people saying goodbye, since it was the day after the holiday, and Ben liked
the bustle of it—no one was focusing on him, they were all too wrapped up in
their own worlds to pay him any attention.
Except for the greeter in the cowboy hat, who just nodded with
understanding and left him alone.
The notation next to Ryan’s flight
finally switched from On time to Arrived, and Ben curled his hands
against the metal gate that he and everyone else had to stand behind and waited
anxiously for Ryan to show up. The
escalators brought up the next load of people—no Ryan. Not in the one after that, or the one after that.
Ben was on the verge of going back to make sure the flight had actually
arrived when he saw the bright blue hat he’d saddled Ryan with coming up the
escalator. Ben walked around the gate
and met Ryan before he had time to do anything other than smile hello, and
pulled him into a hug so fierce and relieved that Ben surprised himself. It felt good to see Ryan. It felt amazing
to hold him, and to be held back so hard Ben felt his neck pop.
“Hey,” Ryan managed, just a little
shaky.
“Hey,” Ben replied, pulling back just
far enough to see Ryan’s face, and the incandescent smile he wore. Ben wanted to taste that smile, he actually
leaned in before Ryan looked to the side.
“We’re being recorded,” Ryan said
softly. Sure enough, there was a group
of tweens with their phones out, wide-eyed and grinning behind the gate. As soon as they realized they were being
watched they scattered.
“Let’s get out of here,” Ben
suggested. “Do you have any luggage?”
“Nope, just my backpack.”
“Perfect.”
Although I am disappointed in the lack of sexytimes, I am glad you included this part. I'd been wondering about Heather and when she might appear. I was hoping she'd be around when Ryan turned up again.
ReplyDeleteI am glad Ben's friends and family didn't allow him to be a hermit on the holiday. He's been doing so well NOT isolating himself that I was afraid he might regress before Ryan came back around.
Yeah, what can I say, I had to bring back Heather. But soon I'm bringing sexy back. You'll be burning up for me and that's a fact. Thank you terrible Timberlake song!
DeleteI'm just so happy that Ben and Ryan are together in the same physical place again that I can wait for the sexy stuff.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy bits of Heather and Ben. She's good for him. It's also nice to see Ben's slowly blossoming relationship with his father and step-siblings. Reconnecting with estranged family - especially a parent - can be awkward and strange. His relationship with Ryan has definitely made him more open.
I appreciate your patience, darlin. It will be rewarded! Happy Halloween:)
DeleteI honestly didn't miss the sex as much as I thought. Ben is opening up to other people, which is great, and Ben and Ryan really seem to be on their way this time. It seems the time off gave them both the space to decide what they wanted from the relationship. I look forward to the rest of the story. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for keeping up with it, hon, you won't miss out for long. I think the guys are in a better place to be serious this time around.
Delete