Thursday, October 18, 2018

A Tiny Bit of the Existential Flu

Hey darlins, book came out, which is great. I'm happy it's out in the world and to those of you who've bought it, THANK YOU so much for your support, I love you. What I don't love right now? My productivity.

Handle With Care was the last book I managed to complete before the baby got here, and you know how many books I've finished since she arrived? None, for myself, excepting my last coauthored book with Lori. I've been spending most of my free time writing for other people, and while that's important because it pays the bills (mostly) it doesn't do anything to set me up for success with my own career. I feel creatively, mentally, and physically drained.

A lot of this is because I spend all day with a delightful handful of a baby girl, who is close to walking and looking less like a baby and more like a child all the time (OMG I'm not fucking ready for that, noooooo!). Some of it is because I'm having trouble with my two biggest personal projects, an urban fantasy and--you guessed it--Mutable. Neither is done yet, and in Mutable's case, I know where I need to get to but not how, and it's taking a toll. Basically, I feel like I've been spinning my wheels, trying so hard to do more and get more and be more, and not really succeeding. Blah.

Everybody goes through times like this, I know. It's been quite a while since I published anything personal on this blog, though, so here--have some of my minor angst! While we're at it, let me think of something cool I can share, hmm.

Okay, this is neat. Last weekend I got to be involved in filming another episode of The Best Defense, which my knife fighting instructor is a co-host for. Last time was a mass shooting scenario, in which I played a terrorist and got shot in the head. This time it's a school shooting scenario, and I play a teacher who--yep--gets shot. I'm sensing a theme. It was really fun, though!

I guess that's it for now. I'll post more Mutable next week, and as soon as I get out to see a movie again (whenever my parents get back from Germany and can babysit the wee one) I'll put up a review. I hope you're all doing well, and are as happy and healthy as possible.


  1. I'm not a writer (or currently raising a toddler), so not sure what the best route is, but I hope you figure it out and succeed. I enjoy Mutable, but I care that the creative behind it is at their best. We the readers can deal if you need a hiatus.

    And good luck with the walking trials, which will soon become sprinting. Never underestimate a focused toddler lol

    1. We're still not quite walking yet, but I'm prepping for chaos!