We all have these instants, brief or not-so-brief moments of un-joy,little existential crises of our own making, times when we can't keep ourselves from unhealthy comparisons.
It's dark outside, and bitterly cold and snowy without there being any real snow, just a miserly little dusting. I'm going over all the projects I've got lined up for the year, getting ready for taxes and wondering if my hobbies are ever going to start paying for themselves. I'm weighing work and family and education and money and all that shit that makes you unable to fall asleep at night, and it's rather daunting.
I won't go into the specifics of difficulty, because that's tedious, but I will say this: posting to my blog and hearing from you guys is a continual fucking bright spot in my life. I'm about to wrap up Paradise and dive into something very new for me, and I'm not afraid of doing that, because I get to experiment here and you generally encourage me. The rhythm of posting and storytelling here is a happy constant in the midst of heavy fluctuation, and I. Freaking. Love you. 'm just sayin'.
That being put out there...yeah! Final Paradise and probably a cover reveal for Cambion this week, and maybe even some angsting about self-publishing (The Captain, oh, jeez...I've even got a sequel all planned out, but I don't want to actually sell this story if it's not polished enough to merit taking people's money, and getting it there, even with the awesome help I got here, is being problematic).
I think that's all for now. It's time for some Walking Dead. Because nothing perks you up like zombies!
I hope things get better for ya! Just remember this: in our little blog-galaxy, we may be points of light in your night sky, but you are our sun! Giving out light and warmth and love and lots of vitamin D(ick). ;) lots of e-love to you!
ReplyDeleteScottie
It's all good, honey, I bounce back like no one's business. Thanks for the e-love:)
DeleteI've been reading and commenting on your blog for over two years (since October 2010! Yes, I really went all the way back and checked) and I've really gotta say that you're right. This blog is a definite bright spot--for you and for all of us :-) I for one am so grateful that you've kept it going, even in the beginning when you lived in a country where internet service was spotty at best. Its been a real pleasure getting to know you over the last two years and its been ah-mazing to read along as you spin tales for us week after week, month after month. It really means a lot to me that I can come home from a grueling day at work and sit at my desk and find a few minutes of happy reading on a regular basis. It truly helps keep me sane a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to what this next year brings for your writing and your real life. I'm very glad to call you a friend :-)
Love you girl!
Tiffany
Gosh, October 2010? Really? I had almost a year to go in Africa at that point, you've got major stick-to-it-iveness. I'm so lucky you have. Thank you!
DeleteWe appreciate what you do and thank you for your stories that entertain us. Try not to worry so much.
ReplyDeleteI know. I try. Most of the time I succeed! I'm glad you enjoy, darlin, I hope to keep things rolling for you:)
DeleteAh- the trials and tribulations of adulthood with no instruction manual in sight (or insight) to guide us through the peaks and valleys... So we coast through with our eyes open and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteThe thought that came to me at the end of last year (as I was wading through the doldrums) was this: we can't regret the decision that felt right at the time because it was the right choice then. So don't look back, look forward, and don't worry. But, if you feel the need to worry then write it all down and let the paper carry the burden.
PS If you don't feel comfortable selling your stories yet, then by all means stick a "Donate" button on your page so that those of us who would like to give a little something can!
Yeah, maybe next time I should write it out on paper as opposed to shooting it into the ether so everyone can read about my insecurities. Next time, living and learning here. And I may do a Donate button to get the self-pubbing off the ground...editing and a cover clock in at around $300, which doesn't seem like much until I factor in the expense of life. Getting there, though. Thanks for the note, hon:)
ReplyDelete