Paradise Post #16

 

Notes: So, here we have…more plot!  Damn it, I know, where is the freaking smut?  For fuck’s sake, woman!!!  It’s coming, it’s coming.  Just a little more resolution, and then WHAM! BAM!  Thank you sir!  Except with a lot more descriptive prose, obviously.

 

Title: Paradise

 

Part Sixteen:  Here’s To Plan A

 

 

***

 

 

An hour before meeting with Jack and his lawyer, Robbie pulled Jonah aside and into his office.  When Jonah asked why, Robbie was uncharacteristically solemn, not even a hint of humor or camaraderie in his demeanor.  “Did Garrett get a chance to talk to you about the bug before he went under?”

Jonah was confused.  “What bug?”

“That’s a no, then.”  Robbie’s shoulders stiffened a little.  “I’ve got something you need to listen to.  Listen all the way through before you say anything, and don’t leave before I can explain.  Agreed?”

“What’s this about?” Jonah asked.  Robbie just stared at him, hands folded on one knee where he sat on the edge of his desk.  Jonah was in a regular chair, his head a couple feet lower down, and he had to stifle the urge to stand up so Robbie wouldn’t be able to look down at him.  The man was a friend of Garrett’s, hell, of his whole family.  He wasn’t being threatening.  Jonah just wished he didn’t loom quite so competently.  “Fine.”

“Good.”  Robbie reached behind himself and fiddled with something on his desk for a moment, and then sound filled the air.  It took Jonah a moment to realize that he was hearing his own voice.

“Kilroy.”

“Jonah!  Sit, sit.” The sound of a chair scraping across a rough floor.  “I’m glad you could spare some time away from the Feds to see me, lad.”

“My fiance isn’t a Fed.”

“Sure he is, Jonah.  Just because he’s not a part of the government machine doesn’t mean he isn’t a Feddie.”

“Where’s Charlotte?”

“Oh, keepin’ an eye on things.”  A faint voice asks what Jonah wants to drink.  There’s a long pause.  “I didn’t invite you here just to scowl at me while I drank alone, lad.  Order something.  My treat.”

Another pause.  “Fine.”

Jonah looked up at Robbie.  “How did you get this?”

“A slimdisc set in the hem of your shirt.”  The voices keep going in the background, replaying a conversation that Jonah would be more than happy to forget.

“How the hell did it get there?”

Robbie didn’t pull any punches.  “Garrett put it there.  Just before you left.”

Jonah was dumbfounded.  “Why?  Why would he do that?”  A chill gripped his heart.  “Did he think I was gonna side with Kilroy?  What, he thought that I was gonna agree to help spy on his family?”  The idea that Garrett didn’t trust Jonah to do the right thing is…almost paralyzing.

“He was just worried.  It wasn’t a rational fear, and I told him that, but there was nothing I could say to change his mind.  You know how he gets when he’s determined.”

“Wait, so you knew about this?”  Jonah stood up, genuinely angry now.  When he stands straight he’s got an inch on Robbie; not much, but it helps a little.  Robbie just looks at him, cool and composed.  “Before he even did it?  Why the hell did you let him get away with it?”

“Because he asked me to.  Because I thought we’d get incriminating information about an attempt to infiltrate our facilities, which we did.  Garrett could have deleted the file at any time; he might have if he’d been thinking straight, but by that point I think he was already getting sick.”  That reference stabbed Jonah with just enough pain that it kept him from yelling, and Robbie pushed his advantage.  “The whole reason I’m letting you in on this now is because of the end of the recording.”  He works at the device again, and then Jonah hears—

“They could hang you for that, Kilroy.”

“Not if we were already gone.  I’m that desperate, Jonah.  Figured I might not be enough to convince you, though.  Soon as I heard you arrive here, I sent word to a mutual acquaintance of ours.  Someone you might be more willin’ to listen to than me.  Someone with personal business with you.”  A stutter, the sound of breaking glass, then static.

Jonah’s fingers curled in on themselves, biting into his palms.  “That’s the end?”

“The slimdisc got wet when the glass broke.  It was ruined after that.”

“You don’t have anything there,” Jonah protested.  “You can’t even hear Jack’s voice—”

Robbie immediately shook his head.  “We do have something.  It’s circumstantial, true, but the timing is right to indicate Jack’s involvement, and moreover, Kilroy Dechiara is willing to testify to the fact that it was Jack who was joining you right then.  We have copies of correspondence between the two of them setting up the meet and discussing what he was going to hold over you, and how.”  Robbie smiled very slightly.  “Mr. Dechiara is more than willing to work with us now that he has a vested interest in being on the right side of the government here.  We could sink him with this recording, completely void the agreement he came to with Miles, and he knows it.  He’s not going to protect Jack, and your ex won’t have a leg to stand on in his negotiations if he choose to reveal this recording and the testimony that goes with it.  Jonah.”  Robbie set a hand on his shoulder.  “This is the leverage you need to keep him from taking Cody.  That’s why I’m telling you this.  I don’t want to make trouble between you and Gare, and I know he feels bad about this.”

“I’m sure he does,” Jonah said, remembering how twitchy Garrett had been, kinda spooked, how he had tried to tell him something right before the first meeting and then didn’t have the time to.  Jonah wasn’t sure how he felt about any of it, not Garrett’s deception or his remorse, but he did understand what Robbie was saying.  “Thank you for tellin’ me.”

“It never hurts to have a Plan E,” Robbie said easily.

“What are plans A and B?”

“A involves Jack backing down gracefully.  B is considerably more complicated, but leaves Kilroy out of the mess by demonstrating Jack’s unfit character by digging further into the past, everything from business deals to personal relationships.  Which we’ve done, but it might not be enough.”  Robbie smiled, and it was a dangerous expression on him.  “And you don’t want to know about C and D.”

“Not with you grinnin’ like a shark, I don’t,” Jonah mumbled, taken aback.

“Precisely.  Now.”  He checked the desk chrono.  “You might want to go and get smartened up, then get Cody.  The meeting starts in half an hour and you look like you slept in a chair all night.”

“I did sleep in a chair,” Jonah confessed.  He hadn’t been able to pry himself away from Garrett, and those chairs were almost as good as a bed when you reclined them.

Robbie nodded approvingly.  “Good man.”

Jonah left and headed to the suite, more than ready for a shower and some time alone.  His mind was spinning with the implications of what Robbie had just told him.  Garrett hadn’t trusted him.  Garrett, his goddamn fiancé, hadn’t trusted him to do the right thing.  Hadn’t trusted Jonah to be honest with him, and then had gone right ahead and lied to him in turn. 

Jonah ripped his clothes off and stepped into the shower, making the water hot, hot enough to turn his skin red in seconds.  He let the anger he felt at Garrett take ahold in his mind, hotter than the water that poured around his shoulders and head and .  “Fuckin’ damn it!” he snarled into the emptiness.  Two-faced, self-righteous little bastard, lookin’ at him all lovin’ and sweetness while he was fuckin’ lying to Jonah, for no good goddamn reason—

Jonah slammed his hand into the shower’s mister, making it stutter, then shut down completely.  The gentle spray was replaced by a single hard stream that hit him squarely on top of the head, almost scalding him.  “Shit!”  Jonah shut off the water and pushed his hair out of his eyes.  He’d broken the shower.  Brilliant.

He had the potential to break a lot more than that.  Jonah stood there in the remnants of steam and shut his eyes.  This was the reason Garrett hadn’t told him, obviously; he’d been worried Jonah would fly off the hand and start yelling at him, which was exactly what he wanted to do.  Which would lead to nothing but pain for both of them.

Jonah remembered that morning, the same day Cody had gotten stung.  Garrett had been affectionate but somehow wary, chill in Jonah’s arms when he leaned in for a kiss.  He was already gettin’ sick.  Jonah hadn’t noticed; hell, no one had, but Jonah still hadn’t forgiven himself for it.  He replayed some of his conversation with Miles in his head.  He tried to kill himself.  He was only thirteen.  I knew he had the potential for it in his genetics.  A smile, and then, We love our flawed children.  It wasn’t just kids you had to love even when they weren’t perfect.

You’re still planning on going through with the marriage?

Of course, he’d said.  Had learning this changed anything about how Jonah felt for Garrett?  Really changed it?

No.

That thought came so quickly, and with such a sense of relief, that Jonah had to lean against the damp wall of the shower to keep himself upright.  No, it didn’t change things.  He and Garrett needed to have a serious talk, there was no doubt of that, but he wasn’t gonna leave the man over this.  Hell, Garrett could have done a lot worse and Jonah would still forgive him, because that was how Jonah loved once you broke through his guard: without reservation.  It would take a lot more than this to break that bond.  Jack had managed it, but Cody was Jonah’s weak point, and Garrett had already proven he would go to absolutely stupid lengths to put Cody first.

They were good together.  That didn’t mean they didn’t have to work at it.  Jonah never shied away from hard work.  He straightened up, dried off, then went searching for some decent clothes.  He had a meeting to get through, then a lover to get back to.

He really, really hoped he didn’t have to learn about Plans C and D.

 

**

 

In the end, the recording wasn’t needed.  They went with Plan A, with a twist, and it wasn’t even Jonah’s call.  When he and Cody entered the office Jack and his lawyer were waiting for them, along with Miles and Sergeant Bowman.  Jack’s lawyer looked like she’d been chewing on persimmon.

“What’s goin’ on?” Jonah asked, keeping his hands on his son’s shoulders.  Jack tore his eyes away from the boy and looked up at Jonah.

“My client is withdrawing his claim to Cody Helms,” the lawyer said, hissing the last “s” through the very front of her teeth, like she wanted to bite the word off.

“It ain’t the right thing, for me to force something on him that he doesn’t want,” Jack said, and he looked resigned.  “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know him.  I do, more than anything.”  He sounded absolutely sincere.  “But not if that means takin’ him away from you.  You and your man, you two love him.  You’ve got a home for him.  A kid needs that.”

“We’re interested in the possibility of visitation rights,” his lawyer said.  She knew Jack had just thrown away their advantage, and she didn’t look happy to be on the defensive side of the bargaining table, but she was doing her best.  “In the interest of giving Cody the most well-rounded experience possible.  Mr. Vendam would like to be able to see him for two standard weeks a year, said visitation taking place either here on Paradise or on Pandora, not to leave either location with Cody without prior knowledge and assent from you, Mr. Helms.”

Jonah was shocked silent.  Jack stared at him, more open than he’d ever seen him before, and Jonah knew he had the man’s hope in his hands.  He could break it, and break Jack while he did, or he could save him.  It was dizzying, having that kind of power, and honestly it made him feel a little sick.  He swallowed and looked down at Cody.  “What do you say, bucko?” he asked gently.  “How do you feel about seeing Jack every now and then?”

Cody looked thoughtful.  “But I’d still get to live with you.”

“Yes.”

“And with Garrett.”

“Yes.”  Absolutely yes.

Cody shrugged, taking it in stride the way only a kid could.  “Okay.”

Just like that, the whole mood of the place changed.  Jack was smiling, Miles looked pleased and Cody wasn’t unhappy, which was probably the best Jonah could hope for under the circumstances.  There were holes to be plugged and details to be arranged, but the crisis had been avoided.  Thank fuck, as Garrett would say.

Speaking of that…Jonah still had to deal with Garrett.  But at least the wait would be easier to tolerate now.

 

Awesome News!

Hi darlins!

This post is going to end up somewhere between general update and OMGYay!!!  Why the excitement, you wonder?  Well, mostly because Changing Worlds just won 2nd place in the gay sci fi/fantasy category of the 2012 Rainbow Awards.  OMG!  Yay!

 

Another Storm Moon Press title, Aliens, Smith and Jones by Blaine Arden, received and Honorable Mention in the same category.  I am so proud.  You can find all the winners of the various categories here: 2012 Rainbow Awards.

 

This is the first award my writing has ever won, and that makes it especially sweet.  Changing Worlds was my first full-fledged novel too, and I learned a lot about the writing process and how to make things better while I was working on it.  I hope that my future works will benefit from those lessons, and that my writing just gets better and more satisfying for my readers.  I would still write even if no one else read anything I ever put down on paper, but the fact that you do, and that you enjoy it, makes me so happy, you have no idea.  So thank you for your support, darlings.  If anyone hasn't read Changing Worlds and might like to give it a go, you can get it here: Changing Worlds at Storm Moon Press.

 

Other stuff.  Hmm...a lovely reader has nominated Changing Worlds for two categories in the upcoming Goodreads M/M Romance Group member choice awards, in the Sci Fi/Futuristic/Post-Apocalyptic genre and also for Best World Created.  The voting starts on December 10th, and I'd love your support.  Winning things isn't necessary, but it's kinda nice:)  You can find out more about the group and the awards here: Goodreads M/M Romance Group.

 

Jesus, aren't I done yet?  No, not quite:)  Two more things: first, the next part of Paradise is probably going to go up on Thursday, since I have to spend most of tomorrow running around getting errands done for my mom, who lives overseas and is relying on me to be her gofer.  Second, I have a new release coming out this month (freakin' finally, right?) titled The Solstice Gift.  I'm going to run some sort of contest here for a giveaway a little later, but if you want to preorder it you get a 10% discount.  It's got Winter Fae and changelings and dangerous hunts and Calydonian boar...yes, you can tell I'm an afficionado of the Greek myths, can't you?  I'll post an excerpt shortly.  You can get more info here:  The Solstice Gift.

 

Holy crap, last thing: I'm going to be updating my damn website soon.  F*cking HTML, I will conquer you!

Paradise Post #15-B

 

Notes: Wow, look at you all checking in so diligently!  I’ve never gotten this many hits before.  Really.  You guys must like this story or something.  Given that, how could I bear to disappoint you?  The answer is, I couldn't.  Here’s part two.  Plus, tomorrow: big news to tell you!  Super exciting!  I’m melting into a quivery little puddle in my chair just thinking about it.  Anyway…happy readingJ

 

Title: Paradise

 

Part Fifteen-B:  Nobody’s Perfect

 

 

***

 

If he’d been asked afterwards, Jonah wouldn’t have been able to repeat back any of what was said for the rest of the meeting before their lawyers finally called it quits.  His mind was spinning with too many possibilities and fears, and it didn’t help that Jack just sat there silent, his arm fixed up in a sling, and stared at him with a considering look on his face. 

Jonah was very familiar with that look; it was the harbinger of big things, and not many of them had turned out well.  Jack had worn that look when he bought his first ship, a clunker called Beulah that he never was able to get into useable shape for spaceflight and eventually ended up selling to a small shipping company that only did planet-side traffic for half what he paid for it.  He had worn that look when he’d agreed to them having Cody as well, and the best that Jonah could say about that decision was that it had ended with him having a beautiful child, even while everything else fell apart.  And now…Jonah wasn’t quite sure what Jack was thinking about, but he didn’t really have the energy to care as much as he probably should.

As soon as hands were stiffly shook and Jack and his lawyer were gone, Jonah bolted from the room and headed straight for the infirmary.  God damn it all to hell, why did he end up spending so much of his time here?  If it wasn’t Cody getting shots, it was Garrett getting his eyes burned out of his head.  Might as well rent space in the one back home, if this was an indicator for the kind of trouble his guys could get into.

There was a part of his brain, getting louder and louder by the minute, that was yelling at him about what an absolute idiot he’d been.  Not because he was with Garrett; no one could have looked at what had happened today and not noticed how devoted Garrett was to Cody.  The man was goin’ out of his mind and he’d still moved to defend Jonah’s son, and even though it hadn’t been necessary, had in fact been just about the definition of overkill, it wasn’t anything Jonah felt he had to fear.  No, Jonah was shouting at himself because he’d let distractions get the better of him and hadn’t noticed his lover, his fiancé, slowly goin’ crazy.  Or whatever was the matter with him.

Jonah asked the first doctor he saw where Garrett was, and was directed to a private room on the west side of the facility.  The walls were clear, the type that could be blacked out with a touch for privacy, but right now they were transparent and Jonah could see the bed, and Miles sitting beside it.  He was holding one of Garrett’s hands and looking down into the recessed bed, and it almost seemed like too private a moment to break.  Then he reminded himself I’m family, opened the door and stepped inside.

Miles looked up and smiled slightly when he saw him.  “You just missed Cody.”

“Who’s he with?”

“Wyl came by to get him.  They’re going to go repaint Garrett’s bike, as a surprise gift for him when he wakes up.”

“Wyl’s a good guy,” Jonah said as he sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed and looked down at Garrett.  The blue-tinted gel covering him gave his face a strange, corpse-like cast, and Jonah unconsciously bit his lower lip.

“He is.  We’re all happy he and Robbie found each other.”

“Kinda surprising, you gettin’ along so well with your son’s ex.”

“If I couldn’t get along with Garrett’s former paramours, I’d lose a large number of friends,” Miles said dryly.  “And generally my son’s partings have been amicable.  He doesn’t take a lot personally.”

“Good to know,” Jonah muttered.

Miles stared at Jonah for a moment before he sighed.  “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Blaming yourself.  Garrett has been dealing with his medical issues for most of his life very successfully; this little lapse isn’t your fault.”

“I should have paid him better attention,” Jonah said stiffly.  This wasn’t exactly a conversation he wanted to have with his future father-in-law, but it didn’t look like he was going to have a choice.  “I knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure what.  I thought he was just anxious, you know.  Worried about the wedding, and then worried about Jack and Kilroy.  I should’ve—”

Miles was already shaking his head.  “There’s no amount of hindsight that’s going to help, son.  There are plenty of things you could have done, or that any of us could’ve done, but Garrett’s an adult.  He knows his responsibilities.  He let this slip, and I’m not blaming him for everything that’s happened, but still.  It’s clear there’s a lot you don’t know about his history, and he should have explained it to you long before things got to this point so that you would be able to help him.”

“I know he was sick as a kid,” Jonah offered, wondering—hoping—that Miles was going to fill in some of the gaps Jonah knew were there.

“He tried to kill himself.”

“Oh.”  Holy…shit.  Suicide wasn’t all that rare in a Drifter community, but on Federation planets, where doctor visits were mandatory and regular, Jonah knew it almost never happened.

“I should have seen it coming,” Miles said pensively.  “And don’t look at me like that; I’m allowed to take responsibility in this instance because Garrett was only thirteen.  His mother had killed herself when he was a small child, and I knew there was the potential for it in his genetics, but I was a rather neglectful single father for a long time, and I didn’t make sure he was getting the care he needed.”  He took a deep, slow breath.  “Ten years to the day after his mother’s death, Garrett shot himself in the chest.”

“Holy shit.”  Jonah had just thought it, but he figured it merited sayin’ aloud too.

“He missed his heart, and fortunately the kind of gun he used made a wound that cauterized around the edges, so he didn’t bleed out.  My housekeeper found him and got him help.  By the time I returned from deployment he was already out of the hospital.

“We had such a fight about it.”  Miles stroked the back of Garrett’s hand carefully, but the look on his face was almost fond.  “He didn’t want to get treatment, especially not the rather drastic kind that had been recommended by his surgeon.  He shouted about how I should just go away, how he had always taken care of himself and he could keep doing it, how I didn’t even care.  He was a very melodramatic teenager.  He heaped all sorts of abuse on me, a lot of it well deserved, and I sat there and took it and then told him he didn’t have a choice, he was going to a specialist.  He stayed in a private hospital for nearly three months while they worked out a solution to his particular mental imbalance, and then he came home.”

“And you stayed with him.”  Jonah knew this part of the story; it was one of the reasons Garrett loved his father so much.

“I did.  And he hated me for the first, oh, six months.  We got counseling, obviously, and eventually Gare accused me of wanting him to be different.  He said I had forced him to change.  And I told him I loved him however he was, and that I always would.”  Miles smiled slightly.  “It’s strange, but before Gare shot himself, I knew almost nothing about him.  He was a perfect son whenever we saw each other, which was maybe twice in a standard year.  Excellent scores in school, physically healthy, polite.  Like a caricature of a child, and I didn’t even realize it.  I’d made the same mistake with his mother, never digging deep enough to understand the real her.  Do you know who his mother was?”

Jonah knew.  “Larissa Child, the actress.  She starred in the first holo I ever watched,” he added, remembering sneaking into the theater on Belamonte when he was a child and watching her float across the screen, a goddess in white and gold.

“Larissa.  Garrett’s a lot like her.  Beautiful, smart, captivating.  She could make you believe anything, and make you do almost anything as well.  I was never sure why she agreed to marry me, honestly.  My family has influence, but she didn’t need our help in that arena.”  Miles shrugged.  “But she did marry me, and we had Garrett, and then she killed herself.  It took a long time for me to let go of the guilt I felt over that.  I don’t think I actually managed it before I spent a year with Gare and got to know him, to really know him.  He’s one of the most complex people I’ve ever met, and I don’t think anyone can really understand everything that goes on in his head.  Or anyone’s, really. 

“A parent is responsible for their children, but an adult can only truly be held responsible for their own decisions, not the decisions of the people surrounding them.  It was hard for me to accept, being career military and very accustomed to telling people what to do.  I got it eventually, though, thanks to my son.”  This time when Miles smiled it was easy.  “We do love our flawed children.  They make us become better people than we thought we could be.”

“I get that,” Jonah agreed, and he really did.  Before Cody he had lived a very different life, a wild life, angry and insecure and often desperate.  Cody had taken all of that chaos and focused it into a burning desire to do right by him.

“He’s going to feel awful once he wakes up,” Miles predicted.  “He won’t blame you, he’ll blame himself.  However you respond is up to you, but if I might make a suggestion?”

Jonah nodded.

“Be kind to both of you.  Don’t let him wallow, but don’t try to take all the responsibility onto yourself either.  He won’t accept that.  I assume you’re still planning on going through with the marriage?”

“’Course,” Jonah said, surprised Miles even bothered to ask.

“Good.  Then with that in mind, and with the emotional health of all your family in mind, demand honesty from each other.  Make a plan.  Be prepared to forgive and to ask for forgiveness, but follow it up with action.  Intent only counts for so much in life.”

“Good advice,” Jonah murmured.

“I’ve been around the ‘verse a time or two by this point,” Miles said.  “I’ve got a decent working knowledge of how to get results out of people, and promises are only worthwhile if they come true.”  He patted Garrett’s hand, then got up and moved around the bed.  “I need to go prep for tomorrow.  I’ll make sure someone remembers to bring in a meal for you.”

“Thank you,” Jonah told him sincerely.  Miles squeezed his shoulder on the way out.  Jonah looked down at Garrett and tried, very briefly, to imagine a life without him.  It was as painful and impossible as imagining life without Cody, and he shied away from it almost immediately. 

“Okay then,” he told himself firmly.  “Definitely not an option.  And if you even bring it up,” he said to Garrett, “we’re gonna have words, darlin’.” 

Garrett’s hand twitched under his.  Jonah just held it tighter.  They would figure this out.  Nothing else was acceptable.

 

Paradise Post #15-A

Notes: Another two-parter, I’m sorry!  I really will try to get the other part posted quickly.  I’m so behind…but at least you get some Cody to tide you over.

 

Title: Paradise

 

Part Fifteen-A: Baby, I Was Born This Way

 

 

***

 

The room after Miles and Garrett left it was uncomfortably quiet.  Cody sat still at the very end of the couch, pressing his lips together tight.  He didn’t want to look at anyone.  Daddy was upset and confused, the way he almost never was, and even though no one was speaking, everyone was angry.  Cody could tell.  They were twitching, mouths twisting, like the words behind them were fighting to get out.  Wyl had a hand on Robbie’s arm and his chin pressed to his shoulder, trying to keep him still.  Jack’s lawyer was huffing tiny breaths through her nose like one of the dragons in the holobooks Garrett had been reading with Cody.  He sort of expected puffs of smoke to come out.

Something was wrong with Garrett.  Cody knew as soon as he saw him when he came into the room, but he hadn’t said anything.  And as soon as Jack touched his arm…Cody shivered, and his daddy pulled him closer.  Garrett had hurt Jack, and now he was sick.  Maybe he was dying.  Cody knew that every time he got sick, his daddy was always worried that he was dying.  Normal people were stronger, they didn’t have to worry about that sort of thing, but maybe Garrett wasn’t normal too.  Maybe he was broken like Cody. 

Not broken, his mind reminded him.  Daddy and his teachers and all the therapists had told him that over and over after they left Grandma’s ship.  The first few years of his life that he remembered, Cody had known he was broken, because so many people had said so.  Then everyone had said he wasn’t, but he didn’t really know how to believe them.  If he wasn’t broken, why had they had to move away?  Why had Jack left them alone for so long?  Why was Garrett sick now, if Cody hadn’t made him that way?

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone looked over at Jack in surprise.  He was cradling his broken arm close to his side, wincing, but he was looking straight at Cody.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.  “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

“Damn straight you shouldn’t,” Jonah said, but he didn’t sound angry, just tired and sad.

“Don’t apologize,” his lawyer said crisply.  “You did nothing wrong.  It was that unbalanced man’s fault.”

Cody frowned at her.  “He’s going to be my daddy.”

“I sincerely doubt that at this point,” the lawyer said.  She sounded like Grandma when she had talked to Daddy, like she was the biggest and bestest thing in the whole universe and everyone else was just stupid.  “He’s clearly unhinged.  A man who can’t be trusted to self-medicate in order to keep those around him safe belongs in an asylum, not taking care of little boys.”

“He’s going to be my daddy!” Cody yelled at her, knocking that superior look right off her face.  He turned to his dad.  “Promise he’s going to be my other daddy,” Cody demanded.  “You can’t put him in a ‘sylum.  You said he’d be our family.”

“Of course he will be,” Daddy said, and the speed with which he said it made Cody slump with relief.  Daddy pulled him closer into a hug.  “He’ll get better and everything will be fine.”  He glanced over at Robbie like he was asking a question, but Robbie just shrugged, a little helplessly, like he didn’t know the answer.

“I don’t like you,” Cody said to the lawyer.  She looked unaffected, but Jack looked upset.  Good.  Cody stared straight at Jack.  “And if you let her take me away, I won’t like you either.”

Jack looked curious.  “You like me?”

Cody shrugged.  “I don’t really know you.”

Jack looked at Jonah, who sighed.  “Not like I’ve been poisonin’ his mind against you,” Daddy told Jack.  “You don’t come up a lot.  Didn’t come up, at least.  He had his memories and they were fine and that was it.  Reckon there’ll be a lot more to remember now.”

“Stop talking to them,” his lawyer advised.  “You’re in a position of strength.  Don’t compromise it for the sake of expediency.”

“We’ll see about that,” Robbie said from the door, his voice cold.  A moment later Miles came back in, followed by a doctor holding a med bag.

“Where’s Garrett?” Daddy asked immediately.  The doctor came around the table to treat Jack, but Cody ignored both of them.  Miles looked very serious.  That wasn’t good.

“He’s in the infirmary.  He’s sleeping.”

“As soon as my client is treated, we’ll be leaving to draw up the necessary papers and alert the local police to this incident,” Jack’s lawyer said.

“They have no jurisdiction here, the altercation took place in the Governor’s Mansion, which is technically a part of the Federation military presence in the capitol,” Daddy’s lawyer told her.  “Moreover, your client isn’t a citizen of Paradise.  His very legality here is in question at the moment.  Any and all repercussions for this interaction fall within the purview of the military police, not the civilian forces.”

“That is pure sophistry,” the dragon lady huffed, her face so tightly screwed up Cody thought she was on the verge of sneezing.

“You’d know if it were, your whole case is based on it,” their lawyer replied.  Miles stepped in before anything else could be said.

“Now is not the time.  We’re in the middle of a family emergency.  These discussions will continue tomorrow, at noon, here.”  He held up a hand before the dragon lady could even get out the first word.  “This is the most neutral territory you’re going to be offered.  The incident that happened today was regrettable, and I apologize for it, and for my son.  However, it has no bearing on the issue at hand.”  Miles’ face, which was almost always smiling when Cody saw it, was so stern and dark that he looked like a thundercloud.  “The issue at hand is Cody’s legal placement, his future and his happiness.  Compile whatever documents you want, but rest assured that we’ll be doing the same.”  He looked hard at Jack.  “I sincerely doubt your past is so pure that you’re safe from it, son.  Remember that when you’re thinking about what you hope to get out of this.”  He stood up and walked out the door.  After a moment, Robbie turned and went after him.

Claudia came into the room, without Renee this time.  She smiled and held a hand out to Cody.  “Do you want to come with me for a while, honey?”  She glanced coolly at the lawyers and Jack.  “We can leave the details to the grownups and watch a show.”

Cody looked up at Daddy, who gave him a little smile.  “It’s okay with me, bucko.”

Jack looked surprised.  “I used to call him that.”

“Well, I’d never hold a nickname against him,” Jonah said softly.  He unwrapped his arm from Cody’s shoulders and smiled again.  “Go on.  I’ll come find you soon.”

“Okay.”  Cody got off the couch and walked around the back of it, very conscious of every eye on him.  He took Claudia’s hand and they left the room, and it was like coming up for air after he’d dived really, really deep into a pool.  Part of him wanted to bury his face in Claudia’s side and cry, but he couldn’t.  He needed to make sure Garrett was sleeping okay.  Being in the infirmary sucked, and Cody sometimes got nightmares.  He always felt better when Daddy and Garrett were there with him, and he would do the same thing for Garrett.

Claudia was leading him toward the living room, but when she saw Miles and Robbie talking so seriously there, she diverted to the kitchen instead.  The remains of their cake party were still out on the counter, but just seeing it made Cody feel sick now.  “Do you want something to drink?” Claudia asked.

“No thank you.”  Cody sat on one of the stools and tucked his feet up so that his knees were right under his nose.  He shut his eyes tight and tried not to remember anything at all, not the noise of Jack’s fingers breaking or the way Garrett had swayed, like he was just about to fall over.

“Oh, sweetheart.”  Claudia’s arms came around him and held him close, and he gave in and held her back, hard.  She smelled so good, and was warm and soft.  Cody had never had a mom, but if he could have picked one he would have wanted someone like Claudia.  “It’s going to be okay,” she promised him.

“How do you know?” Cody asked miserably.  “Why is Garrett sick?  I thought normal don’t get sick.”

“I don’t really know,” Claudia admitted.  “I don’t know much about the details, but Miles does.  He knows what to do for Garrett.  He can explain it to you."

“When?”

“Right now.”  A new hand fell on Cody’s shoulder, and he turned and launched himself into Miles’ chest instantly.  Miles picked him up like he was little again and put him on his hip, and even though Cody was really too old for that, he let him do it anyway.  “Should we go and see him?”

“Can we?” Cody asked, wiping a stupid tear off with his palm.  “He’s not in…”  What did Daddy call it?  “Solitary?”

Miles smiled.  “You mean isolation.  No, he’s not.  We can get right up close.”  He turned his face and kissed Claudia, then started walking toward the infirmary.

“Where’d Robbie go?”

“He went to get something out of Garrett’s ship that he thought might help us with Jack.”

“Like what?” Cody sniffed.

“He’s not sure.  He’ll have to listen to it and then we’ll see.”

“Oh.”  They went a little further before Cody confessed, “I don’t want to live with Jack.”

“You won’t have to.”

“But I’m sorry he got hurt.”

“Yeah, me too,” Miles said with a sigh.  “I had no idea Garrett had let it get so bad.  He’s supposed to take his medicine every day when he’s travelling, and he forgot this time.”

“He was very busy,” Cody defended.  “He was always working or planning or helping me with my school work.  Daddy said he wasn’t sleeping enough.”

“I’m sure he wasn’t.  The last time this happened, he’d been awake for twelve days straight before he went in for treatment.”  The doors of the infirmary swooshed open for them, and Miles walked straight back to a private room.

“Why did he stay awake for so long?”

“Because his brain was sick,” Miles said.  Then they were with Garrett and Miles put Cody down, and he ran over to the bed and stared.

The surface of the bed had retracted beneath Garrett’s body, submerging him in stasis gel.  He wore a small respirator, and his eyes were closed.  A thin film rested over the gel, white and opaque, so they couldn’t see any of his body except for his face and his hands, which were elevated out of the gel on little pads.  Numbers kept popping up on the surface of the film over his chest, too fast for Cody to make out.  BP?  HR?  He looked confusedly at Miles.

“They let the doctors know how Garrett’s doing,” Miles told him.  “He’s mostly fine, but he’s going to have to sleep for a while.”

“So his brain gets better?”

“Exactly.”  Miles sat in one of the chairs to the side of the bed and took one of Garrett’s hands.  “You can touch them,” he told Cody.  Cody nodded and took the other one, which was warm, not like it had been the last time Garrett had touched him.

“He feels better.”

“Good.”  Miles smiled at him, and it was like Cody could finally recognize him again.  “Then he’s improving already.”

Cody sat in the other chair and kept holding Garrett’s hand.  “How did his brain get sick?”

“He was just born that way.”

Cody hadn’t known that.  “Just like me.”

“Exactly,” Miles said.

“And you couldn’t fix it?”

“Oh, it used to be much worse.  We fixed a lot of it, but we always knew that Garrett would have to be careful for the rest of his life,” Miles told him.  “It was very hard for him for a while.  Eventually we got to the point where he was mostly better, and he stayed better after that for a long time.”

“Until he met me.”

“This isn’t your fault,” Miles said, so firmly that Cody couldn’t drop his eyes.  “Not at all.  Garrett’s been responsible for himself for a long time now, and he knew what he needed to do.  He either forgot to do it or deliberately put it off and didn’t tell anyone, but that isn’t your fault, or your daddy’s.”

“Is he gonna get in trouble?”

“No.”  Miles looked down at Garrett now, and Cody recognized that expression.  He’d seen his own daddy look like that when he was with Cody, and even Garrett had a few times.  It was somewhere between love and stubborn.  “He’s not going to get in trouble.  Not the kind we can’t handle, at least.  I’ve got plenty to say to him about taking proper care of himself, though.”

“Don’t yell at him though,” Cody begged, because he knew Garrett hated that.

“No yelling,” Miles swore.  “I wouldn’t yell at my boy, not even when he’s being dumb.”

Cody looked down as he tapped his toes lightly against the rounded base of the bed.  “Are you glad that he’s your boy?  Even though he was born like this?”

Miles reached across the bed and tilted Cody’s chin up.  His eyes were just like Garrett’s, bright and blue.  “I wouldn’t trade him for anything.”

A little of the knot in Cody’s tummy dissolved.  “Me neither.”

Paradise Post #14-B

Notes: Extra long and slightly trippy, which fits the mood but may surprise you going in, so be ready for it.  To all my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!  To those in other countries, fuck it, Happy Thanksgiving to you also!  I give thanks for every one of my awesome readers.

PS-no one's perfect, not even my darlings.  But I promise to work things out.

 

Title: Paradise

 

Part Fourteen, B: Garrett Interrupted

 

 

***

 

 

The first part of the day was…tolerable.  That was the best word Garrett could think of to apply to it, and it didn’t cover the soul-deep loathing that he held for Kilroy Dechiara, a man he’d met all of once and who probably didn’t deserve to be thought about the graphically destructive ways Garrett was thinking of him, but fuck it.  He was exhausted, he was hopped up on too much strong coffee and his brain felt like it was moments from going offline or exploding into bright black pieces.  His vision literally hazed over with color at times, and his stomach roiled with nausea.  It had been so long since Garrett had had acute symptoms, he’d forgotten what it was like.  Apparently, it was like being poisoned.  Fabulous.

He had to hold it together though, long enough to get through the day.  Then he could confess, and then he’d take whatever punishment his fiancé decided to dish out and finally he’d go blissfully unconscious for a while as the autodoc reset his hormone levels and put his brain back in order.  But first…game face.  He and Jonah and Miles sat across from Kilroy and his daughter Charlotte, and Garrett dug the fingernails of his left hand into his palm and reminded himself to keep his breathing easy and his face calm.  Calm.  It was all fine.

Kilroy was, admittedly, both scared and skeptical when he was brought into the Mansion.  He stared hard at Jonah and said, “So this is the way of things then, eh?”

“Not the way you think,” Jonah replied.  The tension in his voice was like a live wire, quivering and sparking through the air.  Garrett wanted to grab it and wrap it around his hands, and then hit that arrogant asshole of a Drifter in the face until he was quivering too.  He could see it all in his mind, and it made him feel better to have a plan.

“Sit down,” Miles said.  You didn’t talk back to Miles when he used that voice, and Kilroy and his daughter sat down almost before they could think about it.  It was like they’d been hammered into place.  Hammer voice…that was an interesting concept, actually, a sonic hammer that you could level against people who needed to be put down mercifully, although honestly, who really merited that?  Someone had certainly invented a non-lethal sonic hammer at some point, Garrett could look those specs up and make one for himself, he was good at that.  Then he could hammer the shit out of people who bothered his family and they’d back off without having to be dead or disfigured.  It was another good plan; he was really on fire right now.

Words happened, they passed through the air from mouth to ear, reverberated for a while and then came out again all rearranged.  Garrett tried to be attentive but honestly, who could really listen when you had the shapes of all those words to consider?  Trade, it was built like an old style ladder, climbing across nothingness until the next person swallowed it down.  Ha, food for thought.  Or thought as food.  Or something…what?

Kilroy looked dumbfounded.  That was a great word, heavy and rubbery.  Garrett keyed into what he was saying for a moment.  “Why in the sky would you offer us all of that?”

“Because you need it and we need you,” Miles said simply.  “Paradise is in a very brittle state.  A third party would help to defuse those tensions and give the populace another choice, and at the same time your people would have the option of a home base, and a way to expand your livelihoods without having to worry about being displaced.  As long as you didn’t directly aid in any terrorist activities, of course,” he added, and now his voice was hard again, the hammer voice.  It kind of hurt to hear, it was too much like anger.   “This offer is contingent on you behaving like law-abiding citizens and being willing to let us perform sweeps of your ships to prove it.”

“It’s a good deal, Kilroy,” Jonah said, and his voice was soft and persuasive and Garrett just wanted to wrap it around his aching head and let it muffle all the harsh light and loud noises.  Jonah had the best voice, drawling and affectionate and delicious.  It was warm and insulating, and in his mind Garrett stuck his hands into that honey-warm voice and let it ease their chills, because they were so cold that his fingers were practically numb.  In reality, his hands twitched a little but didn’t move from his lap.

There were more words following, debate, but it wasn’t trading blow for blow like Garrett had thought it might be.  It was more like grav-ball, with players getting mowed down every so often but generally getting closer and closer to the enemy’s goal until you scored.  That was good, Garrett could get behind that.  He watched his father and Kilroy gain a few meters, get struck back, gain a few more, and then suddenly the goal was there and something was being signed.  When had that happened?  Garrett hoped that he had at least managed to look like he was paying attention, because.  Not.  Happening.

Kilroy looked over at Jonah once the deal was gone, and his voice was oddly sympathetic.  “Jack’s going to come at you hard for this.”

“He already knows we’re not playing his game,” Jonah said, and when had that happened?  “He and his lawyer are on their way here.”

“Good luck with him.  He’s worse than a feral snipe over your boy.”

What the hell was a feral snipe?  Garrett immediately pictured a skinny, patchy little creature with oversized claws and fangs, hissing at him.  Then he pictured himself blowing it away into a snipe-shaped cloud of bloody particles, and felt better.

Kilroy and his daughter left, and the room seemed to take a breath as everyone sighed at once.  “Good.  That’s the hard part done,” Miles said.  “I’ll get the Gunny in here, he can go over what he’s prepared as far as a defense of your sole right to Cody.  You’ve only got an hour before Jack gets here with his lawyer, who is unfortunately rather biased against me as a representative of the Federation, so use your time wisely.  This could get ugly.”  He stood up and left the room.

Jonah lay back in his chair and kicked his legs out.  “I can’t wait for this to be over.”

“Me neither,” Garrett agreed.  “I was supposed to be tasting cakes with Claudia today.”

“Oh, hell.  I’ve been so wrapped up in Jack and Kilroy that I almost forgot about the wedding.”  Jonah smiled apologetically at Garrett and didn’t notice when his words took root in Garrett’s lungs and turned them to ice.  The wedding was the whole reason they were here, wasn’t it?  Really?  They had come to get married, and everything else had just sort of gone to shit after that, but getting married was still the big goal.  Not brokering living deals between two cultures, although Garrett supposed that was kind of, maybe, marginally important.  But that sort of thing happened every day, while Garrett had never ever been married before.  It was kind of momentous, if he said so himself.

“You did divorce Jack, didn’t you?” he forced out through chilly lips.  His lungs felt so icy it was amazing his breath didn’t steam in the air.

Jonah smiled crookedly.  “We were never officially married.  Couldn’t get my mama’s approval.  I didn’t think it mattered, when things were good.  And then it was too late to matter in the end.”

“Oh.”  Too late to matter.  Not good words.  Not applicable to them, but still not good.  Garrett wanted nothing more than to drag Jonah to the nearest official and get their marriage license, then wrap his fingers around Jonah’s hand as he signed the paper so he could feel the reality of the words. 

Jonah sat up a little.  “You look so tired, darlin’.  Why don’t you go catch a nap?  I can handle things with the lawyer.  Then you’ll be fresh for when we’ve gotta deal with Jack.”

Are you getting rid of me too?  Why was he trying to get rid of Garrett?  Had Jonah tired of him already?  “You don’t want me here?” Garrett asked, trying not to tremble.

“Course I want you here, but you look like you need sleep more.”

Ah.  A polite excuse.  Jonah didn’t want him here for this.  Garrett wasn’t being useful, he was distracting, he was stupid, he was useless.  “I’ll go.”  He stood up to leave.  Jonah stood up too.

“Wait,” he said.  He took Garrett’s shoulders in his hands and pulled him in close for a kiss.  Garrett inhaled and felt the ice in his chest melt with the warmth of Jonah’s breath.  He could still breathe.  His heart could still beat.  It wasn’t too late.  “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Garrett told him honestly.  “I’ll try to sleep.”

“I’ll come and get you before things get started.”

“Okay.”  Garrett left the room, passing Gunnery Sergeant Fred Bowman in the hall.  The gunny raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re not staying for the briefing?”  He sounded displeased.  It was like a smothering blanket had been thrown over the tiny happy flame that had just sprung up in Garrett’s mind.

Well, Garrett didn’t care about his displeasure.  He shrugged the blanket off.  “I’ve been told I need to sleep if I’m going to be useful this afternoon.”

Gunny eyed him.  “You do look like you need it.  But try to plan more responsibly in the future, won’t you?  This isn’t the sort of thing that one half of a couple should go through alone.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” you arrogant son of a bitch.  Garrett kind of wanted to smash his arrogant face into the wall, but this was their lawyer, they needed him.  He just left and walked down the hall toward the kitchen, because he was tired but he knew he wouldn’t sleep, not now.  He stopped a little ways outside of it when he heard the noise coming from the room.  He could hear Cody in there, and Wyl, and Claudia and the baby.  They sounded, well, happy.  Not at all worried like everyone else seemed to be.  Garrett peeked around the corner and took a look inside. 

They were all eating…cake.  Lots of tiny samples were spread across the kitchen counter and they were eating them and laughing, and they looked perfectly happy, and wasn’t that something he was supposed to do today?

Jonah doesn’t want me in the briefing and Claudia doesn’t need me for the wedding.  Great.  He could have gone in, but that would have felt like crashing a party.  Instead Garrett turned around and headed back to his suite, but even once he was on the bed, curled onto Jonah’s half, he couldn’t sleep.  He knew he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t even relax.  Garrett felt superfluous to his own existence.  Superfluous…a fluid word, thin and slippery, a word tossed off the top of a very high, very important building that oozed at great speed down the slick sides, dissipating more and more with every second, until it was nothing but a glaze sliding into a foggy, bogged down oblivion. 

There was an uncomfortable starkness to the whole thing that Garrett couldn’t tear his eyes away from.  He didn’t even move the first few times someone shook his shoulder.  “Garrett?”  Soft voice, sweet sounds.  “Gare?”  Her hand was too gentle.  “Honey, it’s time for the meeting.”

“What?”

“Gare?”  Claudia sat on the bed next to him and brushed his hair away from his forehead.  “Jack Vendam and his lawyer are here.  You need to come to the meeting.  Jonah and Mr. Bowman are waiting for you.”

“I’ll be right there.”  He smiled for her and it must have been convincing, because she left.  Garrett stopped in the bathroom and ran a freshening cloth over his face.  He looked at himself critically, then added some foundation beneath his eyes.  There.  Now he looked like he had rested.  He left his room and walked back into the belly of the beast, and found Jonah there with the gunny looking better than Garrett had expected. 

“Hey, darlin’.”  Jonah took his hand and pulled him down next to him on the couch.  “They’re coming in.”

“Showtime,” Garrett said.  The sergeant snorted.  Garrett refrained from kicking him in the head, just barely, before Jack and his lawyer were shown in.

Jack was not what Garrett had expected.  He was tall and broad, good looking but in a simple, hearty way.  His curly hair was a dark mirror of Cody’s, but beyond that the boy could have been all Jonah.  He was also angry.  He was seething, quietly, but Garrett could see it in the set of his shoulders and the shallowness of his breathing.  He was probably furious at being turned on by Kilroy, and now this.  His gaze fell on Garrett, dark and calculating, and it felt like two knives being driven through Garrett’s eye sockets.  Tiny, tiny, super sharp knives.  Monofilament blades, too thin to see but big enough to do damage.

Jack didn’t speak.  His lawyer, a thin, hatchet-faced woman, did.  “We’ll be suing for full custody of the child.”  Boy, she went on the offensive fast.  Jonah stiffened in shock.

“There’s no basis of law for that,” Sergeant Bowman said immediately.  “Your client has willfully ignored his parental rights for the past four years, no child support given, no efforts to reach out to the child taken.”

“My client was denied his parental rights when your client absconded with the boy.”

“Your client knew full well the intention and destination of his former spouse and could have reached out to stop them or become a part of the process at any time.  He didn’t.”

The words continued.  This was no game, nothing cooperative about it like the last one.  Each sentence was a salvo at the other side, and Jonah and Jack just stared at each other, neither of them willing to give an inch.  Garrett sat still and absorbed the energy of the words if not the words themselves; they were too rapid and to spiky for him to latch onto.

A file was displayed on the table.  “Medical records,” Jack’s lawyer said briskly.  “Concerning Cody’s health while in the sole custody of Jonah Helms.  Three incidences of broken bones, two incidences of illness requiring hospitalization.  These are hardly indicative of a caring and competent father.”

“Cody Helms is a natural, he’s genetically prone to incidents like this,” Bowman fired back.  “Most children can be treated for minor injuries in an hour; for Cody recovery takes weeks, even months.  His father took appropriate medical action at each incident.”

“But the circumstances surrounding the very incidents themselves are suspect,” she argued.  “Letting a child with special needs run rampant on a Drifter ship?  This is the definition of neglectful parenting.”

“I’ve never neglected my boy,” Jonah said, and his voice was hardly above a growl.  “And anything you’re getting’ from that particular source isn’t reliable.  My mother and I aren’t on the best of terms.”

“And yet you stayed on her ship and allowed her to watch your child?”  The lawyer sniffed derogatorily.  “Yet another example of poor decision making.”

“Either she’s a credible witness or a useless sack of a person, you can’t have it both ways,” Bowman said irritably.

“We have other witness statements on their way in right now.  This is just a preliminary meeting.”

“Good, then we’ll have plenty of time to compile our own statements concerning your client’s utter lack of parenting skills and inability to be a decent human being.”

“Mr. Vendam has never been convicted of a crime.”

“That hardly makes him a model citizen.”

The lawyers continued sparring for a while before things finally ran out of steam.  Garrett was seeing a rainbow of colors in his head, all of them dripping down into his mouth and making it taste bitter, but then Jack spoke up for the first time, and Garrett refocused on him with needle point scrutiny.

“I want to see Cody.”

“No,” Jonah said immediately.

“I want to see my son,” Jack repeated.  “I’m entitled to take a look at the boy you’ve kept from me for so long.  Does he even remember me?”

“Not fondly.”

“Because you’ve been lying to him about me,” Jack bit out.  “I want to see him.  Ain’t leavin’ here until I do, Jonah.”

Jonah glanced at his lawyer.  The sergeant shrugged his shoulders.  “It’s your call.  It won’t set any sort of precedent, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Jonah.  Please.”

The incongruity of the word coming out of Jack’s mouth was like a punch in the gut to Garrett, but it seemed to pacify Jonah.  He sighed.  “Fine.  Wait here.”  He left the room, and the lawyers began talking again, and Jack seemed to feel Garrett staring at him, and he stared back.  After a moment, he sneered. 

“You hardly even look like a man.”

“Mind your words, Mr. Vendam,” Bowman warned.

“He like you for your pretty face or for your money?”

“Be quiet,” Jack’s own lawyer warned.  Garrett was hardly bothered by Jack lashing out at him; honestly it made him feel better when the guy was being the enormous dick Garrett knew him to be, not someone worthy of Jonah’s consideration.  He didn’t say anything, just kept staring, and Jack shifted uncomfortably and finally looked away.

Jonah and Cody came in a minute later.  Cody was leaning into Jonah’s side, and he didn’t look happy to be here.  Jack’s face immediately changed though, becoming soft and smiling.  “Hey, Cody,” he said.

“Hi,” Cody mumbled, glancing over at the lawyers, then at Garrett.

“Can you come over here for a minute?  I just want to talk to you a little.”

“I don’t think so,” Cody said, even though he moved with Jonah as Jonah came back to the couch.  Jack reached out an entreating hand to him.

“Just for a minute?  You don’t have to sit with me, we can just talk.”

Cody looked down at his feet and mumbled, “No.”

“Cody,” Jack said, sounding a little exasperated now.  “I’m not gonna hurt you.  I just want to get a better look at you.  Come here.”  His hand closed the last few inches between them and clasped around Cody’s wrist.  Cody reflexively pulled back with a sound of discontent, and Garrett saw pure red.

That was wrong.  Jack’s hand on Cody was wrong, and so Garrett had to remove his hand.  He had to keep Jack from touching Cody.  In one smooth, fast move, Garrett reached over and grabbed Jack’s ring and pinkie fingers, the ones that allowed him to make a fist and close his hand, and broke them.  He didn’t even hear Jack’s howl or the gasps of surprise and dismay.  He reset his leverage, then broke Jack’s wrist, twisting it sharply to the right with a crack and bringing Jack down in a sprawling mess over the table.  Then he broke Jack’s elbow against his knee, just to be sure he couldn’t use the arm.  He thought about moving on to his shoulder, but then he heard the whimper.  Not Jack’s, he didn’t care about that, but Cody’s. 

Garrett looked over at Cody and saw his eyes were wide with alarm, and his lips were trembling.  He looked scared.  Scared of Garrett, and that was wrong, that was even worse than Jack wrong.  Garrett dropped Jack’s arm just as Jonah’s hands turned him around.  They gripped him too tightly, bruising.

“What the hell?” Jonah demanded.  His anxious eyes searched Garrett’s face, and Garrett felt the judgmental weight of them.  “What’s wrong with you, Garrett?”  That was a good question, an angry question.  Everything was wrong with him, apparently.

“Clearly this is an unsafe environment for the child!” Jack’s lawyer shouted as she helped Jack to sit up.  “We’ll be filing criminal assault charges in addition to—”

“No.”  It was the hammer voice, Miles’ voice.  He was at the doorway, had probably come running when he heard Jack scream.  He was staring straight at Garrett.  “My son needs serious medical attention and your client needs a doctor.  One is already on the way.  You are staying here because this discussion is far from over.  Garrett,” he moved in close, pushed Jonah’s clenching, painful hands out of the way and cupped Garrett’s face with his own.  “Son, when’s the last time you took your medication?”

“What?”  Garrett’s mind was fuzzy with shock, the reality of what he’d just done slowly seeping in.  Oh…oh no.  “What?”

“Your medication.”  Miles’ voice was soothing and cool, talking him down like he had during the Year of Togetherness, learning to live again after being institutionalized.  “When did you last take it?”

“Weeks ago.”

“Oh, Gare.”  His father pulled him close and brought their foreheads together.  “We need to get you to the infirmary.  We’re going to go now, all right?”

“What’s happenin’?”  Jonah didn’t sound angry any more, just confused, but Garrett still couldn’t bring himself to look at him.  “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you later.”  Miles gently pulled Garrett through the crowd of people now in the room, away from Jonah and Cody, away from Jack and his pitbull, away from Wyl and Robbie and Claudia who were looking at him with wide eyes.  He kept his gaze on his father, the only one holding him together right now.  They moved slowly, Miles stepping backwards the whole way to the infirmary, keeping Garrett’s eyes occupied.  If he looked away, he would die, splintered into a thousand pieces.  He was sure of it.

“Come on, son.”  Garrett followed the eyes and the voice and the gentle hands, until he was laid back on a spongy bed.  Miles put restraints on his wrists and ankles, looking apologetic, but Garrett didn’t mind.  You couldn’t let a crazy person just go running around unshackled.  A hologram leapt into the air and said things, and made Miles look like he was in pain.  Garrett had to do something to make it better.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”  His father kissed his forehead.  “You have to sleep for a while now, son.”

“No, I can’t!”  Garrett tried to sit up, suddenly remembering what he had to do, but the restraints were already in place.  “No!  I have to tell Jonah something, something important…”  But what was it?  “There was something, please,” he pleaded with his father.  “I have to tell him.  He’s going to leave me and he won’t even know what I did to deserve it.”

“He won’t leave you.  He loves you.  You can tell him when you wake up, baby boy.”

“No…” Garrett felt drowsy and hated it.  He knew it was the medication the autodoc had administered.  “No, Dad.  Dad…”

“It’s okay, Gare.”  Through the stars flying across his vision Garrett could make out Miles’ face, still comforting, still watching him.  Watching him…Miles was here, he would make it okay.  He had never lied to Garrett before, he took care of him when it was bad.  “Go to sleep.  You’ll have a chance to make things better when you’re healthy again.”

“M’not…not right.”

“But you will be, son,” Miles promised him.  Garrett let the heavy solemnity of that promise draw him down into the well of unconsciousness.  There, at least, there was no more pain.