The Beyond: Chapter Four

Notes: Aaand we're back! It's been a minute (or two) but I hope you enjoy this Isidore POV as we start to settle into the plot of The Beyond :)

Title: The Beyond: Chapter Four

***

 

Chapter Four

 

 

Photo by Rafael Oliveira

 

Isidore couldn’t help but breathe a silent sigh of relief when they finally docked at Cloverleaf Station. “Welcome aboard,” the station master, Elia Accambray, relayed through the radio as their airlock repressurized. “We’ve got your usual rooms set aside, and payment has already been made for your stay.”

Isidore frowned and waited for Wyl to say something about that, because prepayment wasn’t the standard for their stays at Cloverleaf, not when they made most of their money from bartering for goods on the station, but Wyl and Robbie were still wrapped around each other in the cockpit. He glanced at Kyle for a second, but Kyle was looking almost as out of it as Robbie, so after another moment Isidore took over. “That’s good to hear, if a little surprising. Would you mind forwarding the transaction log over, Elia?”

“Not a problem,” Elia replied easily. “I figured you’d want to doublecheck that it was permissible, but it came from a verified Alliance account with no red flags. I don’t recognize the name on the account, but you probably will.”

A second later the information came through the ship and registered in Isidore’s implant, which was still connected to the ship’s control systems. They kept their connections open while they were in the Beyond as a safety measure, and it took Isidore a moment to realize he could turn his receptivity down now. He did so, and was briefly startled by the silence in his own mind.

Kyle jolted and looked over at him with a surprised, almost hurt expression.

“Oh, I didn’t—”

“No, it’s okay,” Kyle said, but he put a foot of space between them anyway. “I just keep forgetting that you’re leaving after this.” He put on his Alexander smile. “Now’s as good a time as any to get used to it.”

Isidore wanted to reach out and pull him back in, to make it clear that there were no hard feelings on his side, but the data from the station was blinking in his visual implant, waiting for attention. He opened it and verified the balance on their account, then immediately checked the payer information. The numbers were gibberish as far as he was concerned, but the name—Gerald Caradog—clarified the situation.

“Garrett footed the bill for our stay this time,” Isidore said.

Kyle blinked. “Why would he do that?”

Isidore smiled. “Probably his version of a ‘welcome back to civilization’ gift. This way we can keep more of what we earn from our finds, which will help a lot once I’m—” He stopped right before he put his foot in his mouth, but Kyle caught it anyway.

“Once you’re gone.”

“Yeah.” Isidore wasn’t sure why he felt so awkward; he’d been living with Kyle for the past three years, as close as two people could be without living in each other’s skin, and even then they’d fucked around more than enough to qualify them as very good friends. “You know this isn’t the last time we’re going to see each other,” Isidore said as the ship continued its power-down protocols. “I’ll be on my way to pick you up the second I hear that you’re clear.”

Kyle looked pensive. “You could be waiting a very long time.”

“I don’t think so.” Garrett was working on their behalf, after all, and it might be naïve thinking, but Isidore was pretty sure that Garrett could do just about anything he set his mind to. “But even if it takes fifty years, I’ll come for you.”

The younger man finally cracked a smile. “You suck at being comforting, Iz.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah.” He bumped his shoulder. “But that’s okay, you make up for it in other ways.” The airlock was almost clear. “I’ll miss you.” Kyle sounded a little wistful.

“I’ll miss you too,” Isidore said. “But I’m going to be here for a few days. This isn’t goodbye yet.”

“I know.” Kyle’s eyes went vague in a way that meant he was checking his implant, and Isidore was momentarily startled to realize he couldn’t feel the movement of the other man’s mind at all. He was outside of their little bubble now, four members of the team becoming three, and he hadn’t realized he’d miss it until it was too late to get back in. “But I’ve got some stuff to handle and I’m not sure how long it will take, so don’t wait around for me if I’m a little scarce, okay?”

“What kind of stuff?” Isidore thought he knew all of Kyle’s stuff.

Kyle just smiled, and then the door was open and he was out the airlock and down the ramp before Isidore could say anything else to him. He even had his pack on his shoulder—when had he had time to pick that up? Isidore wanted to go after him, but he still had his own bags to grab out of his tiny room, not to mention he needed to debrief with Wyl and Robbie if they were ready. Which…so far, not looking good.

Isidore sighed and walked back down the hall to the little bunk that he’d laid claim to three long years ago. It was the closest to the mess, which suited him fine since he liked to get up for water at night, but also the smallest of the bunks and the only one that required you to bend down to get into it. He wasn’t going to miss that, but as he looked around the space—barely enough floor for two people standing side by side, a bunk that lifted up into the ceiling but was only wide enough for one person comfortably, the myriad drawers that sometimes turned into a puzzle if you opened too many of them at once—and he felt a pang go through him.

This was the closest he’d come to having family in a very long time. Even on Paradise, back before he’d been drawn into Garrett’s web of high-level espionage, Isidore had been alone for years after his parents were killed in a terrorist attack. Being imprisoned—either time—hadn’t been fun, but he’d appreciated being a part of something bigger than himself. He’d appreciated getting the chance to do something important, something that would hopefully make the universe a better place in the long run.

And now that part of his life was over. He was going to Solaydor, where Pence was already set up and where he had a home and a job waiting for him to step into, and Isidore hated to admit it, but he was ready for the change. Three years in a tiny spaceship doing things that terrified him on the regular was long enough. He knew he was lucky to be getting this break, but he also thought he deserved it.

That didn’t mean he liked watching Kyle run away from him like he was on fire.

Isidore picked up his two bags and walked back into the mess, where he found Wyl waiting for him. “Where’s Robbie?”

“He’s getting a little rest before we head in,” Wyl said, and his blasé attitude was almost believable if not for the tight skin around his eyes. “The approach tired him out more than usual this time.”

“That’s not surprising.” That was crazy, Isidore wanted to say, but Wyl didn’t like hearing words like “crazy” and “unreal” applied to what Robbie could do. Isidore couldn’t blame him. “I’m happy to wait with you,” he offered instead, and got a small but genuine smile out of Wyl.

“It’s okay, I know you have to be eager to see Pence again.”

“I am,” he admitted, and it was an easy thing to admit these days. Pence had gone from just another threat in Redstone to the most solid, reliable friend that Isidore had, with the potential to be more if the two of them had let themselves go like that. They hadn’t—it hadn’t felt right, when life in the Beyond was so unstable, and once Pence left the ship Isidore had assumed their chance was shot.

Then Pence had gotten an apartment on the planet where Isidore was cleared to work, and found a job for himself there, and sent Isidore messages with startling frequency, many of them far more romantic than he was expecting, and…the chance came back. It was here, right now, just outside the door to their ship’s berth, waiting for him.

“Good.” Wyl reached out and clasped his shoulder. “You deserve to have all the nice things, Iz. Everything you’ve done for us, everything you’ve been through to do it—I’ll never be able to repay you. We’ll never be able to repay you.”

“You don’t have to,” Isidore said, a little surprised. “I wanted to stay and help you.”

“I’m talking before, Iz.” Wyl shook his head. “Your connection was to Garrett, not to us. Not to Kyle, and definitely not to Robbie. I know you could have left a lot sooner, but I’m really grateful you stuck around as long as you did. It made our time out there a little less terrifying.”

“Wyl…” Isidore dropped his bags and pulled him into a hug and Wyl went easily, almost eagerly, until they were holding each other so tightly it hurt. Isidore felt a stab of unease go through him as he registered that Wyl was shaking ever so slightly, and maybe it was residual adrenaline from their passage to Cloverleaf, maybe it was sadness, or maybe it was because he was afraid for Robbie and doing his best not to show it.

Robbie and the coffee…that was unusual. He loved coffee, even when other foods and drinks appealed to him less and less. And being able to manipulate their ship through so many close calls, all thanks to the passenger he bore that he hadn’t even asked for, that had been forced on him by a psychopath who wanted to turn Robbie into his personal creation… “I could stay,” he said before he could second-guess himself. “If you need me to. I can stay.”

It felt right to make the offer, but Isidore had to admit he was relieved when Wyl immediately shook his head. “No, no,” he said.  “It’s time for you to go start living your life, man. You’ve got a lot to look forward to. Don’t put it off any longer.”

“I’ll see you again.” Isidore wanted to make that clear. “I’ll see all of you again.”

“Yeah, at dinner,” Wyl said easily. “I’ve already reserved one of the big rooms off the main mess hall for us tonight, so be there. Drag Pence along too, I special ordered the booze he likes.”

Isidore made a face. “That stuff is foul.”

“I know, I think Redstone permanently fucked up his taste buds,” Wyl agreed. “But I mean it. We’re not done yet, and even if we don’t see you in person for a while, I expect regular messages.”

“You’ll get them,” Isidore promised. He finally let go of Wyl and glanced down the hall at their closed door. “Want me to wait with you?”

Wyl waved him off. “Nah, Robbie might be a while. Go ahead, go say hi to Pence and we’ll see you at dinner.” He smiled sharply. “I’ll make sure Kyle is there too.”

“Thanks.” Isidore leaned in and kissed Wyl on both cheeks, an old Paradisian greeting he hadn’t used in a while, then grabbed his bags, turned, and headed down the ramp.

The shuttle bay was pretty spacious for a little craft like theirs, but dark and cold, and the air seemed to fizz slightly in the way that a place that had been exposed to too much radiation sometimes could. Isidore knew that the radiation levels on Cloverleaf were strictly accounted for, but it still made him uneasy to be so close to the exterior of the station. He walked quickly to the exit, let the doors sense his presence and open, and then—

Light, yellow and warm. Heat, and with it the scent of food and people and air that he hadn’t been recycling for months on end. And in the center of the hallway in front of him, arms crossed insouciantly but face smiling a broad welcome, was Pence, familiar despite the loss of his moustache and the new, vibrant blue suit he was wearing.

Isidore dropped his bags without realizing it and rushed over to the other man just in time for him to unfold his arms with a laugh and catch Isidore in them. He was subjected to a second crushing hug in as many minutes, but this one left him warm and happy, and the fizz seemed to be bubbling up inside of him now, overflowing into laughter as they embraced, rocking from side to side.

“There you are,” Pence murmured. “At last.”

Isidore pressed suddenly wet eyes against his lover’s shoulder and sighed a tremendous sigh of relief.

“Here I am.”

 

The Beyond: Chapter Three

 Notes: I'm still going! This story is getting told, damn it! Have some Kyle POV--he's going to be a pretty big presence in this one.

Title: The Beyond, Chapter Three

***

Chapter Three

 

Photo by the NASA Hubble Space Telescope

 

 

 

Kyle sat next to Robbie in the cockpit of their little ship, prepping everything from the emergency cut-offs for the engine to the modified trajectory calculator that he planned to run in tandem with Robbie’s approach. It wasn’t enough to really help, but it would make Kyle feel better about the whole thing.

Their crew was, unfortunately, a little infamous among people in the Beyond for this particular approach to Cloverleaf Station. The asteroid field was a decent approach as long as you kept enough distance, but given the strength of the gravity waves, you didn’t save much on fuel by skirting close to the pulsar. Most people found it easier to go long, fly a few million kilometers away and get some bigger eddies and currents in there to break up the persistent damage of the pulsar, and round on the station from the larger spaceways, usually hitching onto the most popular from Gania.

That sort of patience wasn’t to be found in Wyl and Pence, back when he was with them. As for the benefit of keeping their unique status to themselves, Robbie of all people declined to bother with hiding that there was something that allowed them to do what they did. “We need people to know that there’s something weird going on with us,” he reasoned. “We need them to want to approach us and interview us, so we can learn from them as much as they might learn from us.”

Which…he wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t the way Kyle had been trained to go about things. Admiral Liang had taught him from a young age that the best way to get information was by being covert, by hiding your true intentions and giving people what they wanted to see. It had worked for him for a long time—worked too well in the end, when his brother decided to discard him at Redstone.

Garrett Caractacus had anticipated that and sent Isidore Cain ahead of him to save his life, and Kyle would be forever grateful for that, not just because Isidore had saved him, but because in doing so, he’d met someone who was so much like him. Isidore was clever, and knew the benefit of a pretty face and empty eyes, and was so much more dangerous than he looked. If he hadn’t fallen in love with Pence, Kyle would have done his damndest to convince Isidore to stay with them.

But he’d fallen in love after all, tempted into the start of it before Kyle ever showed up, and Kyle knew better than to fight it. That was another thing he’d grown used to—perpetually coming second in the race for a heart.

Stop it. Isidore was happy, so he was happy for him. Besides, the man was pining for civilization and Kyle couldn’t blame him. He had a chance to do more with himself, and he should take it. Kyle would be in good company with Wyl and Robbie.

Second place again. Which, again—Robbie and Wyl were married, and he was old-fashioned the way you got from Martians—he only had eyes for Wyl, and Wyl felt the same. They were the sort of devoted he’d never seen before…well, maybe with Cody and Ten, but that relationship was pure chaos, where these two were solid, two planets in perfect orbit around each other. The only hiccup there was the parasite, and that could be fixed.

It could.

It had to be.

“Ready for approach.” Robbie’s voice was steady, almost mechanical as he made minute adjustments to their pitch.

“Ready,” Kyle confirmed. “The quickest route looks like about forty thousand kilometers, with permanent shadow.” The information wasn’t perfect, but it was a lot better since the Ganian stationmaster had started sending drones out to map the field and give spacers continual updates.

“I’ll increase speed a little.” Ten thousand kilometers an hour was a brisk enough pace, but should give them time to make the adjustments needed to handle unexpected asteroid movement.

“Copy.”

“Are we good?” Wyl asked, coming up behind Robbie and laying his hands on the other man’s shoulders.

“We’re good,” Robbie said, covering one of Wyl’s hands with his own for a moment.

They were. It would be fine, they’d done this a dozen times over the past three years. They’d only ever had problems once, and that was the very first trip. Robbie was better at this now—perfect, in fact.

Because he had the parasite.

“Here.” A mug appeared in Kyle’s peripheral vision. He turned and took it from Isidore with a smile.

“Thanks.” He sipped—mm, milky and sweet, the only way he liked coffee. Kyle took his share of ribbing from Wyl about taking his coffee like a child, but the hell with it. He liked what he liked, and he liked coffee that didn’t feel like a punishment.

“You ready for the station?”

Kyle shrugged. “It’ll be nice to see Pence again.”

“What about your friend there? Jenette, right?”

Kyle shook his head. “She left at the end of last season.”

“And you got her com info, right?”

No, he hadn’t. Jenette had been friendly, a Drifter turned miner who didn’t know who Kyle was and wouldn’t have cared anyway, but there was no point in keeping in touch with her. He’d had to lie to her every moment they spent together; it was just easier not to dig his hole any deeper, especially since she was heading deeper into Alliance space. “It’s fine.”

“Let’s get going,” Robbie said briskly, and Kyle gratefully abandoned the conversation and focused on watching Robbie instead.

This far out, the parasite’s abilities weren’t really apparent. Robbie manipulated the ship onto the right path, the same one Kyle’s program had identified, and they set off into the asteroid field. Forty thousand kilometers…no problem, and yet…there were so many things that could go wrong so quickly. One miscalculation, one misstep, and they’d be splashed across the side of a massive space rock, a brief flare of heat that a drone might catch, if they were lucky, and if they weren’t…

Well, they’d be lost. One more missing ship in a long, long line of ships that had never returned from the Beyond. It wasn’t a place people lived, or where they attempted to make careers or build a life for themselves. The Beyond was simply beyond, a region of space that teemed with so many anomalies that regular radio contact was impossible. Space itself had been warped, like an enormous hand had reached down and twisted it, making it into something that was almost totally incompatible with life.

Almost. There were also the Ruins, hard to find and harder yet to return to, and those were what people like Kathryn Blake were interested in. They were evidence of—hell, the claims varied. Everything from more species of aliens to a portal into another universe had been floated, and Robbie read them all. They all kept up with the research, but Robbie was particularly keen to figure out as much as he could.

The parasite had come from the Beyond, after all. Stood to reason that if he was going to be able to get rid of it, that was the place to do it.

Wyl and Isidore headed back to the mess once they were underway, chatting about anything and everything, but Kyle kept his focus on the charted path. He was the second pilot, and if anything happened to Robbie he’d have to take over. Not that anything would happen to Robbie, but Kyle needed to be ready, just in case. He might not have the military level of mods he used to, not since his brother had ordered them all permanently deactivated before Redstone, but Isidore had gotten him some damn good replacements, and Kyle still had the muscle memory to use them to the highest level. His reflexes were amazing.

They still weren’t as good as Robbie’s when the parasite was driving.

Kyle watched him out of the corner of his eye. Right now it was Robbie in charge, as far as he could tell. His eyes were normal, he wasn’t sweating or shivering—he was just Robbie. He was Robbie for the first hour, and the second, and then they were halfway through the field and had to slow down a bit, which was fine, because—

“Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbee—”

“Proximity alert,” Kyle said quickly, shutting off the alarm and pulling the affected zone up on his implant. He broadcast it to the ship so it showed on the screen. “Two asteroids had an unanticipated collision about five thousand kilometers out. There’s a new debris field.”

“How much?” Wyl demanded. “What size are we talking here?”

Size made a big difference. Big debris was better—easier to see, easier to maneuver around, easier to avoid. Small was like trying to fly through thousands of bullets at the speed they were going right now.  Their shielding just wasn’t good enough to endure it.

“It’s—shit, it’s showing up as a cloud,” Kyle said with a grimace. “No visible pieces, small enough to scatter fast. We need to backtrack.”

“No.”

They all turned to look at Robbie. His pupils had gotten large, and too shiny.

“We can’t make it through that debris,” Wyl said in something close to his normal voice.

“Backtracking will take too much fuel. We won’t be able to make Cloverleaf without bartering back in the Beyond for more, and that will take too much money.”

He wasn’t wrong, but it was the only reasonable thing to do.

“The Devas owe me,” Isidore said after a moment. “I can get fuel for less from them.”

“Pence is only allowed on Cloverleaf for another two days. He’ll have to leave to renew his pass, and that could take months. You’ll miss your window to leave with him.”

Kyle’s heart lurched downward for a moment. That would be bad, Isidore having to stay would be bad, and yet…

“I can get us there,” Robbie said, blinking hard. When he looked at thema gain, his eyes were their normal blue. “Trust me.”

Wyl bit his lip. “Robbie.”

“I can.”

“All right.” That was Isidore, nodding firmly. “Let’s do it.”

Robbie smiled at them. “I’ve got this.” He turned back to the viewscreen and began to modify their course, taking over manually.

Kyle startled badly when Robbie looked over at him and, with a wry smile on his face, winked. His eyes had gone completely black. “Follow my lead and reprogram as we go,” he said, then turned to face forward again, and his face sort of…blanked.

This, at least, Kyle had seen before, when the parasite was extending its—shit, he didn’t know what to call it. Aura? Cosmic range? Whatever it was, Robbie’s passenger had the ability to sense the space around him better than anything Kyle had ever heard of before. He could do it from inside a ship, from standing on the surface of a vantablack planet with no light except what they brought with them, he could do it underground and under water. And clearly he could do it for thousands of kilometers, which begged so many questions that Kyle wasn’t prepared to even ask.

Robbie kept them on course for another fifteen minutes. The first deviation came in the shadow of an enormous asteroid, one several miles across. Instead of skirting around the side of it, he took them under, keeping them in the protective shadow and curling up tight on the other side as they emerged—

Right next to a second asteroid, holy shit, the radar showed it was almost close enough to touch. Kyle inhaled sharply, and from right behind him Wyl cursed, then put the viewfinder on visible. He knew it didn’t matter to Robbie, after all.

Their lights illuminated the pitted, gray rock of the asteroid they’d nearly kissed a moment ago, smaller than the one they’d darted under but spinning slightly, more mobile. Kyle’s breath stilled in his lungs, his heart starting to race as he realized his program was completely useless now. If anything happened to Robbie, he wouldn’t be able to pick up the slack. He’d get them all killed. Useless, worthless, dragging other people down…

“Focus,” Robbie whispered, and Kyle knew it was for him. He forced himself to look away from the screen and at what his own implant was broadcasting, willing the calculations to catch up even though he knew it was impossible.

They had three more close calls over the next forty minutes, including actually watching an impact take place less than a thousand yards away. The asteroids involved were tiny, only about the size of their ship, and broke into a dozen pieces that Robbie was able to weave around without a problem. Still, it was humbling and terrifying in equal measure knowing that the field was always, always in motion. The pulsar’s gravitational waves left the asteroids unstable, moving them around, while at the same time its gravity well pulled the smaller pieces in over time to be consumed by the broken star. It was the only reason the field was passable at all, instead of a solid cloud of dust.

Two more hours and they were finally within range of Cloverleaf Station. Robbie was soaked with sweat and Kyle didn’t feel much better, but as soon as they emerged from the field he reversed their forward propulsion and shut the engines down, then sent their docking code off so a drone could come get them.

“Holy shit,” Isidore murmured.

Kyle looked over his shoulder at them, and one glance was enough to make him get up and give his chair to Wyl. They needed space, and he needed some water. He went back to the mess, head pounding from residual tension, and poured himself a drink. It was tepid and metallic, but it still tasted amazing to him.

Isidore’s hand clasped his shoulder. Kyle shuddered at the clammy feel of his shirt pressing down on his skin. “Are you okay?”

Kyle resisted the wild urge to giggle. What a question. “I’m fine. I didn’t even have to do anything.”

“You had to watch.”

And watching was hard, was what he was getting at, but the truth was Kyle had been grateful to watch. Happy to do so, even. He’d known he couldn’t do what Robbie did in those moments, knew he was nothing but a liability.

In the end, he just shook his head. Isidore squeezed him one more time, then let go. “Come on. Let’s get you kitted out for the station.”

Ah right, his disguise. Couldn’t show up looking like himself, not even on the edge of the known universe. Kyle drained his cup and set it in the sink. He’d clear it later. “Yeah, okay.”

 

The Beyond: Chapter Two

 Notes: Oh my god, this story got lost in the heat of summer and only now have I resurrected it, I'M SORRY ROBBIE AND WYL! I'm SORRY!

Anyway, have a second chapter, lol.

Title: The Beyond: Chapter Two

***

Chapter Two

 

 

Photo by Engin Akyurt

 

Robbie never knew whose dreams he was having when he slept these days.

That he dreamt was undeniable and unavoidable. From the moment he shut his eyes at night, his brain was hijacked by the creature inside of him.

At first, it had careened through his memories, hag-riding his subconscious until it had unearthed every moment from Robbie’s past that he still held onto, most of which he barely knew were still in there. It conjured up visions of his mother from when he was just a child, a woman with constaltly raw, weeping spots on her hands from handling toxic components for the ships she helped build. He was placed back in his father’s arms the day before the man lost his leg in an industrial accident, the last time he’d ever seen his father smile and play with him. He felt the cold of cryosleep, saw only darkness but somehow heard the hiss of failing lifesystems all around him.

It especially loved to revisit the deaths he’d seen. Robbie had killed people during his time in the Marines, too many people, but the parasite far preferred to experiment with how much devastation Robbie could feel about the people he’d lost. His parents and grandparents…friends from the service…Jane, god, he hated remembering how Jane had died…Wyl, when Wyl froze to death and they barely brought him back in time—

That one had been so bad it had wrenched control back from the parasite, which didn’t like being sidelined by Robbie’s will. It had steered clear of most of the memories of Wyl after that, branching out until Robbie was back in Redstone, killing people he didn’t even know. Those had to come from Rory, one of the de facto bosses of the prisoner population in Redstone, the murderer who shared the same old blood as Robbie, and who’d inadvertently shared his passenger as well.

All of it? Some of it? By his own volition, or had the parasite forced him to do it? Robbie didn’t know, and he wanted to. Needed to, honestly. He needed more information about the parasite, as much as he could get, and most especially how to get it out of him.

A thick flow of suffocating satisfaction oozed through his brain. Never. You never will. No one tastes as good as you, Old Blood.

Robbie’s shoulder was shaking. Wyl was waiting for him. He had to wake up.

So sweet, so rich, so dirty with ancient worlds and ancient ways. You are delicious, Old Blood. Even the cleansing doesn’t change that.

The cleansing…Regen. Robbie knew it was Regen; he’d learned a lot of the parasite’s phrases by now. It was always quietest after he’d been injected with a fresh dose of Regen. Wyl had wondered if he should make it a daily treatment, but there was evidence contraindicating that for health after a while. Too much renewal, forced on a body with no other way out, could lead to horribly novel diseases.

“Robbie. Wake up.”

He needed to get up now. It was time…past time. He needed to be back with the man he loved. Robbie strained against the hold the parasite had on his limbic system.

Mine…don’t forget. He’ll know it as well. The thickness in his mind receded, and Robbie breathed in deep and opened his eyes. He looked at Wyl…

And Wyl startled so badly he jumped to his feet. “Fuck!”

“What?” Robbie asked.

“Your—it’s still—” He made a gesture at his eyes.

For shit’s sake. “Get out of there,” he snapped, and the tension receded further. “Sorry,” he said to Wyl, who shook his head in an effort to make light of it.

“No no, it’s fine,” he said. “Who’s bothered? Not me.”

Robbie knew better than to push when Wyl didn’t want to be pushed. “Of course not.” He shifted around and placed his feet down on the floor, making sure he had a good sense of it before he stood up. His balance had been suffering a bit lately as the parasite’s presence in his mind deepened. Run into a wall once, and your husband doesn’t leave you alone.

Wyl watched him being careful, but when he stood and didn’t sway, his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Do you want a shower?” he asked. “There’s enough fresh left in the tank for you.”

“Fresh” was a misnomer, given that the water had been recycled so many times after being on, in, and around each of them that it was permanently cloudy. Technically clean, but cloudy. This ship’s recycling system wasn’t the best, and it was low on the list of things to improve given that their crew was about to get smaller. Robbie shook his head. “I’ll wait until we get to the station.”

“About that.” Wyl leaned against the wall by the door, arms crossed against his chest. It was his defensive posture, one he had stopped taking for a long time with Robbie that had come back in the past few years. He hated seeing it, hated knowing that there was nothing he could do to reassure his husband that things were going to be fine, that he was all right, that he was here with him and was going to stay that way.

They both knew there was no guarantee of that. Not yet.

“Are you sure you can manage the approach from this side? It’s busier than normal—the pulsar’s kicking out heavier gravity waves than expected.”

“It’ll be fine.” This was the preferred approach for Cloverleaf Station if you were coming from the Beyond because it minimized exposure to radiation—the asteroids were just too big, and they tended to be large, some as large as moons. They could extend a shield’s protection for hours, long enough to get into Cloverleaf’s anti-rad field generator, an innovation installed just last year that had completely changed how the station operated.

It was still a dangerous location, but for ships within a few hundred kilometers could take advantage of the massive magnetic field the station produced—as long as they shut their engines down completely once they were past the asteroids, which meant following the station’s instructions for docking with extreme precision. Once you were close enough, a specialized drone would come out, attach to the nose of your ship, and pull you into the station itself. They only worked within a very specific range of speeds, though, and if you overshot the station too fast, you had to wait until you were out of range of the artificial magnetic field to try again.

“All right.” That was apparently enough to settle Wyl. “Let’s get some food into you, then we’ll set out. Hopefully we’ll get through the approach before we have to eat again.”

“Hopefully,” Robbie agreed. “I’ll join you in a minute.” Wyl nodded, and Robbie headed for the bathroom.

He didn’t need to use it. That was something he’d been keeping to himself lately, because he knew it would scare Wyl, but he didn’t actually need to use the bathroom anymore. His body had become incredibly efficient in that way, leaving nothing for him to excrete. He did pee from time to time, when he drank too quickly for the parasite to keep up, but if he stayed relaxed with his intake…nothing. No turnover.

It would be a weird thing to confess, one more in a long line at this point, and so he didn’t. He washed his face, then checked his reflection for any sign of the parasite in his eyes or lips—places there the skin was thinnest. Nothing. Good.

He didn’t want to call attention to himself before he had to.

He dressed in clean clothes, simple spacer fare—blue shirt, gray pants, and long socks with hardened soles, all skin-tight and temp controlled, then put a larger hoodie over the top. The hoodie dated back to his marine years, and was the last piece of clothing he had from what might be termed his “youth.” It was threadbare and the words had long since frayed off, but it was the most comforting thing he had to wear, and it grounded him in his body like only touching Wyl did, and he couldn’t have Wyl touching him while he was navigating the asteroid field.

He stepped into the hallway and almost stepped into Isidore, who was emerging from his room with a smile on his face. His silver eyes were bright—they always were, given the reflective lenses, but they were particularly lively right now, and Robbie knew why. “I take it you’ve checked your messages from the welcoming committee.”

“Pence is ready for us,” Isidore confirmed as they walked one-by-one down the hall to the mess. The ship was tight—two people couldn’t fit side by side in it.

“Good.” Ready for you, you mean.

“And he’s arranged a face-to-face meeting with Kathryn Blake, too.” Isidore said it with the air of someone delivering a huge surprise, and it was merited. Robbie froze and turned to face him, incredulous.

“Over a comm?”

“In person,” Isidore clarified, grinning now. “She’s using Cloverleaf Station as her base of operations this season. She just got there two days ago. Pence had to share some of your research with her to get the meeting, but she’s really interested to talk to our crew now.”

“I bet.” Yeah, their research was interesting—it was unprecedented, because Robbie had the parasite swimming behind his eyes, showing him mysteries in the Beyond that either no human had ever plumbed before or none of them had bothered to share. Wyl had uploaded their videos to a repository on the station, one designed to be shared with Garrett in the event they went missing, but Pence had access to them as well. If he thought they were needed to get this meeting, then he was right.

“Blake is at the station?” Wyl demanded from the entrance to the mess. “Are you serious?”

“As a knife to the heart.”

“Such a sweet talker.” He was grinning now too, though, the merriment spreading, and Robbie was grateful to see it. “That’s amazing, though. She’s the Alliance authority on the Beyond. Over a dozen universities are funding her team, not to mention the mining interests funding metallurgical studies. Holy shit. Holy shit.”

“You’re welcome,” Isidore said smugly right before Wyl tackled him in a hug.

Robbie skirted around both of them and headed for the coffee pot. He poured himself one careful cup, stopping a full inch shy of the rim because it felt right there. He never overate these days, never overindulged in caffeine or liquor. Not that he had often before, but his body had become a finely-tuned machine.

Too bad the tune it was dancing to wasn’t his own. It burned Robbie that he couldn’t even be there for the meeting with Blake, or at least not all of it. Wyl had to be able to ask questions without the parasite knowing what they were, after all. He trusted Wyl with his life—of course he did—but he wasn’t used to giving up control. He hated it, in fact; it made his skin crawl, but…

“Hey.” Kyle raised his own cup from where he sat at the table, and Robbie seized on the distraction.

“Hey.” He sat down beside him. “You ready for the approach?”

“I won’t be the one navigating it.”

“You’re my backup for a reason,” Robbie reminded him. Wyl was an amazing shipbuilder, and Isidore was practically a doctor with how well he understood the human body, but Kyle was the only one who had reflexes anywhere close to what was needed to thread their ship through the asteroid field. It was about more than dodging chunks of rock; there were radiation mitigation efforts to make, long-term radar to take into account, and a trajectory to calculate and confirm before they entered the station’s magnetic field. “I’ll get us there if you handle reentry.”

Kyle nodded. “I can do that.”

“Good.” Robbie took a long, slow sip, savoring the bitterness of the coffee on his tongue. He took another mouthful, letting it wash across the back of his tongue, rich and strong and—

He choked, leaning forward and sputtering as coffee sprayed across the table. Every eye in the room turned on him, and Robbie waved their concern away even as he reached for a hand towel. “Just went down the wrong tube,” he said. “I’m fine.”

He wasn’t fine. That wasn’t the wrong tube, that was a forceful rejection by the parasite. But why? He’d been drinking coffee with this thing in him for years. He wiped his mouth, then briskly wiped down the table.

“I’ll get you some more,” Wyl said, reaching for the pot.

“I’m fine,” Robbie interjected. “Still have some here.” He cleared his throat, then stood up. “I’m going to prep the engine and get us moving. We should be there in about four standard hours.”

Wyl held out a meal bar. “At least eat this first.”

Robbie extended his arm warily, then relaxed as he was able to close his fingers around it. “Thanks.” He forced a smile, then headed into the cockpit.

The sooner he got things underway, the better.