Hadrian's Colony: Chapter Three, Part Two

 Notes: Landing is one thing. Actually getting out of Catie is...something else.

Title: Hadrian's Colony: Chapter Three, Part Two

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Chapter Three, Part Two

 

They set down on the surface of Hadrian’s Colony with a gentle thud. Elanus began running numbers on Catie’s systems immediately, making sure she hadn’t taken any damage despite her insistence that she was “Fiiiine, Daddeee!” Kieron, meanwhile, got into his enviro-suit, one of the latest terrestrial models. It wasn’t as all-encompassing as the version needed for vacuum, without the extensive respiratory or waste management systems, but it would do a very good job for about twelve hours, which ought to be far more than he needed right now.

He closed the front and hit the button that inflated the system with the air he was going to be using and reusing for a while, then went for the headpiece. He began to pull it up and over his head, and then found that for some reason his arms simply couldn’t move. They couldn’t…what the hell was wrong with him? He lowered them down and that was fine, no problem, but when he went to raise his hood again they stopped working. Fuck. What was going on here?

“Elanus,” he said softly.

“Mm?” His fiancé looked over from Catie’s diagnostics.

“I need your help.”

Elanus was on his feet instantly. It was rare for Kieron to outright ask for help, which meant that whenever he did Elanus paid attention to it. “I’m here,” he said, by his side a moment later. “What can I do?”

“I’m…” Shit, how did he explain this? “Watch.” He lifted his hands behind his head, got a grip on his hood, and—

They froze in place before he could move an inch. “I can’t…it’s not working. I mean, it’s working, but—”

Elanus got a grip on his hands and gently lowered them back down. He held them between his own and lowered his head a little so he could look Kieron in the eyes more easily. “What are you feeling right now?” he asked.

“I feel fine. There’s no muscle soreness or tension, no specific pain to point to that—”

“I mean,” Elanus rephrased with what seemed like exaggerated patience, “what are you feeling right now? Emotionally?”

Kieron frowned. “Oh, come on.”

“Just tell me.”

He heaved a sigh. “I feel—” Intense apprehension all muddled together inside of me. I felt like I was ready to go out there before I started to pull on the EV suit, but maybe I’m actually afraid to step foot on the planet and it’s manifesting in freezing my arms in place. Or maybe this is related to the last time I had to think about not being able to breathe, only the last time that happened I was jettisoned into space and I can’t even remember it but maybe my body does even if my mind doesn’t. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck—

“Okay, deep breaths.” Kieron didn’t even realize he’d all but stopped breathing before Elanus said something. He inhaled, and it hurt but felt good at the same time. He did it again, and again. Fuck. “I’m all right,” he said after a minute of that.

“I think this basically proves you’re not, but…how do you feel?”

“Anxious,” Kieron admitted. “Apprehensive. Intense, painful levels of worry and fear and I’m not sure if it’s because of the place of because of…” He gestured to the suit, and Elanus’s expression went flat as he realized what Kieron was referring to. “Here, you’ll have to pull it on for me.”

Elanus shook his head. “I don’t think I should do that.”

Kieron barely resisted the urge to growl at him. “Well, I’m not able to do it, but it’s safest to go out with a full EV suit on, so—”

“I donnn’t detect anything overtly harrrmful to humans,” Catie added, clearly listening to every word. “Some bacteria and micrrrophages, but nothing that can overcome your boooooosters.”

“That’s great, honey,” Elanus told her. “But safe or not, I think Kieron should hang out in here with us until he’s ready.”

Kieron growled. “This is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, that’s not a word we need to use for what’s going on right now.”

Great, now he was being placated. Kieron was so fucking tired of being handled, even by the people who he knew loved him. Worse, part of him knew that they were damn good it and admitted that he even needed it sometimes, but not right now. Not now, not when he was so ready to get this moment over and done with.

I need to be able to function on this fucking planet. That means wearing an EV suit. Nothing is going to happen. Nothing is going to—

“I can go first,” Elanus offered, and that was enough to kickstart Kieron’s legs, if not his arms.

“Absolutely not,” he snapped, moving away from Elanus and toward the hatch. “Catie, let me out.”

“But Kiiiiieron—”

“Let me out!”

“Don’t let him out,” Elanus snapped as he headed for his own EV suit.

“Catie!” Kieron yelled, and Catie made a whining sound and a second later—

The hatch lifted and Kieron jumped onto the ground before Catie even had a chance to extend the walkway. Rain poured over his head, hard and heavy, practically sparking with the scent of ozone, and the ground was slick and slippery under his feet. It smelled like…stars, it smelled like…

“Run along outside, everyone outside, it’s time to play.” It’s raining but the nursers don’t care, they never let the weather change the children’s schedule. Twelve to one every other day, the children go outside to play. There are no toys except for a few partially inflated balls and a climbing gym that’s half rusted away but they can play with each other as long as they’re quiet. He lines up to go out, and—

“Run faster!” Kieron braces himself against the strike he knows is coming. His grandfather has taken it upon himself to monitor Kieron’s daily runs of the obstacle course, and every time he passes him the old man hits him as hard as he can on the back. “Faster, you little shit! Run—”

There’s nowhere left to run, all he can do is break the window and hope against hope that he and Restaria are rescued before their blood boils. He hits it once, twice, and there are the spiderwebs he was looking for but he’s not fast enough, it’s going to explode, they can’t—

“Kieron!” Strong arms wrapped around him, and it took a moment for Kieron to realize he was on all fours. “Fuck, come on, we’re going back inside.”

“No,” he gasped. “We’re almost there.” He could see the building right in front of them. They were almost to it. He didn’t want all this effort to be for nothing, all these stupid memories to just be repeated when he tried this again—he had to get there now. “Help me.” Elanus didn’t move. “Please.” He knew he was begging now, knew that it was manipulative, but what else could he do? “Elanus—”

“Damn it,” Elanus swore, then stood up, taking Kieron with him. They moved…away from Catie’s safe harbor and toward the building until they stood beneath the partially-collapsed awning. The rain still pounded, but they were out of the worst of it for now.

Kieron exhaled with unsteady relief. It wasn’t much…but it was a start.