Cloverleaf Station: Chapter Thirteen, Part Two

 Notes: Oh my god, is it finally...are we really...has the slow burn, practically nonexistent burn, become an actual BURN!? I think it has! WHaaaaaat? And there are DINOSAURS? Get outta town.

Title: Cloverleaf Station: Chapter Thirteen, Part Two

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Chapter Thirteen, Part Two

 

It turned out that children everywhere, whether they were human or not, were fascinated by dinosaurs. Kieron was sure even he would have been, if he hadn’t first learned about them in his twenties. Zakari’s kids had gone crazy for them—one of their favorite games had been to play “dinosaur pirate ship captain,” which was pretty self-explanatory. It had led Zak down the rabbit hole of finding books that featured dinosaurs who were also the captains of space ships. One of those dinosaurs was also a pirate, and that was the book Kieron read to Catalina.

She loved it. By the end of it, she was making “dinosaur” noises and pretending to be the ship that carried the dinosaur pirates across the galaxy. It was stupidly cute, and Kieron got a surprise when Catalina suddenly made holograms of the dinosaur pictures from the book appear inside of her, moving around like they were live action instead of stills.

“That’s incredible,” he said, impressed despite knowing just how impressive Catalina was already.

Elanus was smiling so hard the designs in his beard were almost impossible to make out. “She’s never been this into a story before. I’ve read her plenty of books about ships and explorers and daring adventures, but I never once thought to add dinosaurs to the mix.”

“Zak always said you could never go wrong with them.” A little bit of Kieron’s good humor melted away as he realized just what he was doing here. He was laughing, playing, having a lovely morning with two people he was growing closer to despite himself, and he was not thinking about his friend. His best friend. The friend who was still floating out there in the black, waiting to be taken back to his family’s mausoleum so he could be remembered properly.

“What? What’s that face for? And don’t say ‘nothing,’” Elanus cautioned him. “Nothing would be bullshit, I know your looks by now. What’s wrong?”

Kieron sighed and stared at him. He actually did want to talk about it, was the thing, which was ridiculous. He didn’t share things. He didn’t make himself vulnerable like that, didn’t reveal the soft parts of himself and make it easier for others to stab him there. But…this was the guy who’d saved his life. If he couldn’t open up with him, then he’d never be able to with anyone.

Despite his resolve, he still couldn’t do it directly. “Have you ever felt like you’re betraying someone simply for living your life?”

“No,” Elanus said promptly, and Kieron’s heart seemed to shrink a little. “But I can see where you might get that feeling from. I have probably never met anyone as determined to resist any and all comforts for himself as you, and I’ve known literal ascetics, people who make their livings through self-denial, so that’s saying something.” He paused. “It’s the fun, isn’t it? You don’t feel like you deserve to have any.”

Kieron nodded. The words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat, but Elanus didn’t seem to require them to understand him. It was an incredible relief.

“I don’t know much about your friend, but I know a bit about you now, and I don’t think you’d devote so much of yourself to someone who didn’t really deserve it. Someone good, in a way you don’t see yourself as able to be good. Someone kind, because you crave kindness even though you can’t ask for it. Someone willing to reach out to you and bridge the distances that you don’t feel you can get over on your own.” Elanus spoke softly, gently, and his dark brown eyes were full of compassion. It hurt to look at them. “Would a person like that begrudge you any sort of happiness you could scrape together? Would he?”

Kieron shook his head, still mute.

“Then let yourself have these moments. Times like this are what make all the pain and suffering that comes along with life worth enduring.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “You can let yourself have things. Big things, little things, things that make you happy. There’s an argument to be made that some people have too much, and believe me, I get that, but you’re not one of those people. You hardly take anything for yourself, even time, even a chance to rest. Would it be so bad to just—just seize one of those things that you want? Would it be so intolerable to let yourself enjoy something you crave? Honestly, I think that—”

Whatever else he was going to say was lost as Kieron abruptly grabbed the front of his shirt, hauled him in close to his chair, and pressed their mouths together.

It wasn’t much of a kiss—way too sudden, teeth clacking and an exhale so loud it sounded almost like a honk coming out of Elanus’s nose. Kieron’s heart beat too fast in his chest, something he ought to be able to control, where was his control? He was too full of wants now, too full of desires and maybes and “what-ifs.” He was also ready to let go at the first sign that he’d read thing totally wrong.

Instead, he got Elanus grinning against his mouth as he slid his knees along the outer edges of Kieron’s thighs, slotting himself into place against him. “Good thing you have a long torse,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Kieron’s neck, anchoring himself on his lap. “This would be awkward otherwise.”

“It’s already plenty awkward,” Kieron replied. He knew his face was bright red, but he didn’t want to let go of Elanus. He flattened his hands on the other man’s back and stroked up his spine. “You’re too tall.”

“You’re just jealous. Come here.” He leaned in for another kiss, and this one wasn’t awkward. This one was hot, flavored with mutual need and satisfaction and the latent heat of desire. “Gods, I was starting to think you were a lost cause,” he muttered between kisses. “How many hints do you need, huh?”

“A lot,” Kieron confessed. “I’m not good at knowing when people are interested in me.”

“No?” Elanus pulled back for a second. “Have you…tell me you’ve…”

“I’ve had sex, if that what you’re asking.” A grand total of two times, but he didn’t need to know that.

“And did you…like it?”

“I liked it.”

Elanus huffed with a mixture of exasperation and reluctant charm. “C’mon, work with me here, Kieron. Tell me what you want right now. Kisses? Sitting together holding hands? Another story? Fucking in your bed? I’m good with anything, but—”

“Fucking.” He cleared his throat. “That sounds good. Let’s do that, if…you’re okay leaving Catalina right now?”

“Well, I’m not going to have sex in front of her,” Elanus deadpanned. “So yeah, I’m fine with it. She’ll be all right.” He glanced over his shoulder with a smile on his face. “Look, she’s making the dinosaurs shoot down the rival crew of pleisiosaurs. So cute.”

Kieron grinned. It was cute. “Shall we?”

“Let’s.” Elanus stayed right where he was. “You can drive,” he purred. “I’ve got plans for my hands.” They slid down Kieron’s body until his right hand pressed against his groin, and—

Yeah, it was time to go.