Quaint Escapes for Traitorous Bastards: Prologue

 Hi darlins!

Okay, I'm going a bit afield and dipping my feet into cozy fantasy for this one. I mean, I'll make it as cozy as I possibly can, which...you know me. How am I going to live without peril? Without fighting? Without explosions!?

I'm just going to figure it out, peeps. Have a short prologue to settle you in, then buckle up for this one ;)

 

***

 A mile outside of the village of Lollop, where the trees finally began to thin into the edges of locals’ fields and gardens, a wagon came to a halt. “This looks like a decent spot,” the man driving the wagon murmured to himself as he looked at the stump of a tree on the right. It was a broad stump, at least five feet across, and ragged like the tree had grudgingly torn itself apart as it fell. “Esmerelda.” He stroked a broad, gentle hand across the back of his traveling companion. “Esme, love. Take a look at this.”

“Mmm, fuck off.”

He laughed. “Esme, this was your idea. You can’t back out now, we’re already here.”

The little creature made a whining sound of despair but opened her eyes. “Already? It feels like we just left Galenish.”

The man tisked. “That was three weeks ago. And I know you’ve already told me that you’re sick of my constant presence, but if you’d rather head into town with Phlox and me, you’re welcome to it. You can help clean the house, stock the shelves, dig the beds in the garden…”

“Curse you and your love of physical labor,” Esmerelda said with a huff. She raised her head off the seat and crossed her lion’s paws in front of her like a little queen. “You’re considering this stump? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s hideous.”

The man waved a hand. “Details, details. What do you think of the location, though?”

She looked around. “Hmm…this isn’t the main road, is it?”

“No. More likely used by locals than travelers and traders.”

“Good. I don’t want to be disturbed very often.” Her nostrils flared. “There’s decent game out there. Some deer, a few wild pigs…lots of rabbits. My goodness. There’s a brace of hares every dozen feet, it seems like.”

He nodded. “Lollop is known for its rabbits, I’m told.”

“And nothing else.” Esmerelda turned her cool gaze on her traveling companion and the man who’d held her life in his hands for the past thirty years. “Are you sure you want to settle down here, Hiram? It’s so rural, nothing like the activity of Galenish or the other big cities.”

“That’s exactly what I want,” he said firmly. “A quiet home where no one will ever think to look for me, and a trade that has nothing to do with magic.”

“But magic is your life,” she protested.

“It was, for a very long time,” Hiram agreed. “But no longer. The man I used to be has no part to play in the man I’m to become. I can live without magic.”

So you think. Esmerelda had her own ideas about how long that vow was going to last, but now wasn’t the time to mention them. Instead, she lifted her nose in the air and sniffed haughtily. “Well, I can’t. I refuse to lie one minute on that rough surface, it’s going to do terrible things to my fur. Fix it.”

Hiram laughed. “Yes, m’lady. What are you in the mood for? A platform? A podium? A plinth?”

She scowled at him. “Who has two arms, two legs, and asks stupid questions?”

“Plinth it is, then.” He winked. “Since you’re a living work of art.”

“And don’t you forget it,” Esmerelda purred. She settled in on the seat of the wagon and watched as Hiram flicked his left earlobe to get Phlox’s attention. They carried out a low, grumbled conversation that Esmerelda didn’t care about because Phlox would argue that the sun was blue if it gave them more time to use their power, and then the tree stump underwent what could only be called a “rapid renovation.” There was a flash of light, a flare of heat, and then—

“Much better.” Esmerelda hopped from the wagon over to the magic-warmed wood, which had now taken the shape of a large, decorative plinth. She shook out her head and slowly let herself grow to her original size, then laid down to test the fit. “It’s a bit tight at the edges,” she noted.

“It’s because you ate an entire pack of dire wolves last week, you chunky—”

“Phlox!” Hiram snapped. “Knock it off!”

Esmerelda glared at the glowing bit of rock in Hiram’s left earlobe. “They’re just jealous that they didn’t get a taste,” she said, and wiggled from side to side a bit. It was, all things told, a rather nice spot for a bit of rest and relaxation, with plenty of game around and avenues for escape if someone got nasty thoughts in their head and she wasn’t allowed to chastise them. Which… “Are you sure I can’t ask riddles?”

Hiram hesitated.

“It’s very culturally important to me,” Esmerelda coaxed. “Nothing fatal, I promise! Just a way to pass the idle hours when I’m missing you terribly, or it’s raining on me, or…” She trailed off suggestively.

Hiram shook his head. “You know I’ll have a place for you whenever you get tired of being our watchtower,” he told her earnestly. Ugh, she hated when he was earnest; it cut through all her most dramatic arguments. “You don’t have to be here alone if you don’t want to.”

“I already said I would do it.” And it was the most freedom she’d had ever since her “oopsie” moment all those years ago. Esmerelda wasn’t about to give it up now. “Just some little riddles, to entertain any children who might wander by?” she finally asked. Children were always safe with her, and Hiram knew that.

Sure enough, his expression softened, not that it was easy to tell with that awful beard he wore now. “Fine. Little ones only.”

Esmerelda purred with pleasure. “Excellent.”

“I’ll send a message with directions to the house later today.”

“You don’t need to,” she replied. “We sphinxes have the keenest sense of smell in existence. I’ll be able to find you on my own.”

“All right, then. Have fun,” he said, then flicked the reins. The wagon got moving again, and Esmerelda watched Hiram and his many belongings trundle out of sight toward Lollop. Once she was certain she was alone, she did a full-body stretch that would have had Phlox laughing at her contortions before settling in on her new home for the foreseeable future. On the whole, she thought she liked it.

I hope we all find something to like in this quaint little place.