Notes: Time for a sexy interlude! A little J&G, from Jonah’s point of view, because I can. Still not sure about the status of a post on Tuesday, but hopefully this will satisfy. Happy Saturday!
Title: The Academy
Part Nineteen: Interlude: Feeling It
Jonah Helms wasn’t a man given to philosophizing. The nature of the universe, the purpose of humankind, their expansion across the galaxy…it was all so much fluff to Jonah. Drifters were raised to be practical, devious and determined, and Jonah was a faithful example of his upbringing. He had too much to do to waste time on “what ifs,” or at least he usually did. Right now, though, leaving his son behind and heading to a planet he’d never imagined seeing in person before to pick a fight with the leaders of the Federation, Jonah seriously wondered whether or not this was actually his life. It seemed so improbable. What did he know about interplanetary politics? What did he care about infighting between self-important jackasses who lived light years away from everything important in his life? Nothin’. Not a goddamn thing, just like a Drifter should.
Garrett had changed Jonah’s life, for the better in most ways, but it still sat wrong for Jonah to leave his kid behind while he gallivanted off to make verbal warfare. Not that he’d be particularly useful there; Miles and Garrett were the experts when it came to political maneuvering, Jonah was nothing but support staff for this battle. He knew Garrett wanted him there, he knew Cody would probably be fine, he knew it didn’t do for him to hover, but Drifter traditions still tripped Jonah up sometimes. Families were supposed to stay together, damn it. There was safety in numbers, in familiarity and family bonds, and right now Cody didn’t have that protection. His roommates were good kids and Admiral Liang promised to look after him, but the fact that Garrett had been concerned enough to work up those shields with Wyl made Jonah’s stomach clench. Garrett wasn’t given to overreacting. If he didn’t think there wasn’t the genuine chance that Cody would need those, he wouldn’t have gone there in the first place.
Jonah Helms, cut adrift from Drifters, attaché to Federation aristocracy, worried father, useless lump. Hard truths, but honest.
Soft hands cradled his jaw, jolting him out of his reverie. Jonah refocused on Garrett, staring at him with concerned eyes. “You looked a little lost,” Garrett said quietly.
Jonah dredged up a smile. “Just a little sad to leave Cody again. You know how I am.”
“I do,” Garrett agreed, sliding forward and straddling Jonah’s lap smoothly. Jonah instantly looped his arms around his husband’s hips, the movement unconscious after their years together. “I also know your sad face, and that wasn’t quite it.” He brushed a strange of Jonah’s hair back from the curve of his neck. “Are you worried about Cody?”
“Always,” Jonah said wryly. “Nothin’ new there.”
“He’s going to be all right,” Garrett said, with all the assurance of someone who was so used to things turning out the way he expected that Jonah could almost believe Garrett’s wishes were reality. “He’s smart, he’s got good friends, he’s got the admiral on his side, and it would actually be shocking for someone to try to take action against an Academy cadet in a political standoff. I just wanted to be safe.”
“I know, darlin’, I appreciate that.”
Garrett looked at him shrewdly. “Is this about us, then? Are you upset that we had to cut short our vacation to go to Liberty?”
“No,” Jonah replied truthfully. “There’s only so much vacation I can take before I get antsy for work, and we just about hit the limit.”
“And yet you’re still antsy,” his husband said. He leaned in and kissed the shell of Jonah’s ear. “Tell me, sweetheart.”
Now that he had to share it, it seemed childish. Still, Jonah had promised himself he’d always be honest with Garrett, and he wasn’t about to stop just because it might hurt his pride. “I don’t reckon I’m gonna have much to do when we get to Liberty, darlin’. I don’t have any status beyond being your husband, and I’m no politician. I don’t know enough to handle security, I don’t have any allies that could give your negotiations a lift up. I’ll be a little useless there.”
He’d expected Garrett to immediately negate his concerns, to tell him, “Of course you won’t be useless!” and pacify him with sweetness, and Jonah was ready to let him. Instead, Garrett leaned away from him and looked over his head for a moment. “Did I ever tell you why I tried to kill myself?” he asked when he finally made eye contact again.
Whoa. “Not specifically,” Jonah said uncomfortably, “and you don’t have to now. I know you were sick.”
“Chemically imbalanced,” Garrett agreed, “but that isn’t the reason I tried to commit suicide, it was just a contributing factor. After my mother’s death, I went to live with my grandmother. She’s always liked keeping her family close, and back then she still thought I had some promise. My father was deployed and grieving and not interested in dealing with me, so he thought that she was the best option.
“I stayed with her for the next ten years, and no matter what I did, it was never what she wanted. The woman is impossible to please. She didn’t want to make me into my father, but she didn’t want to let me be a child, either. It made me feel like I was good for nothing, every moment spent defending or justifying myself. She sent me to boarding school when I was thirteen, and by that time I was completely convinced I was a hopeless cause. I got sent to a detention center, I abused drugs, and I finally tried to kill myself because it seemed like I had nothing good to live for. I wasn’t useful, I wasn’t loved, I wasn’t happy.”
Despite knowing full well that Garrett had turned out all right, Jonah still felt angry when he thought about the child he had been. Younger than Cody, and he’d been so hopeless he’d wanted to die. It was inconceivable.
“After that, Miles came back and took custody of me, and things got better. It took a long time, but eventually I understood that I really was loved, that I could learn, that I had something to offer. What started it all, though, was the love. Finding my strengths, figuring out what I could do with myself, that was secondary to realizing how much Miles loved me.” Garrett leaned in and kissed Jonah, his lips soft and warm. “I love you. I’ll always need you, no matter what we’re doing. And I know that’s not enough, but you will find something to give you purpose while we’re on Liberty. Just start with feeling my love, okay? Let that be a beginning.”
Jonah smiled at his husband. “I like the sentiment, darlin’. We’ll see how it falls out once we get there, I guess.” He ran his hands up Garrett’s back, tracing the arc of his spine. “I’ll be fine. Find something, like you say. And I always feel your love.”
“Good.” Garrett smirked and kissed him again. “Are you feeling my love right now?” He pressed his hips forward. “Mmm, right there, can you feel it?”
“That’s what you’re callin’ it now?” Jonah teased, slouching a little further down in his chair and hitching Garrett higher.
“It’s as good a name as any,” Garrett said. “And it wants to be felt.” The chair tilted further back as their weight shifted.
“Better get up here, then.”
Garrett’s eyes widened as he grinned. “Really? Right here, in the pilot’s chair? The one place where you promised me we were never going to have sex because it could be dangerous and was irresponsible and we could be hailed at any time, and on and on and on?”
“You wanna have the last word, or would you rather get your dick sucked?” Jonah asked bluntly.
Garrett mimed sealing his lips and put his hands on the back of the chair, leaning forward. Jonah stroked the bulge in his well-tailored pants, then slid a little further down in the chair. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but he didn’t think he’d be here very long. It was an idiosyncrasy of Garrett’s that he could fuck for literally hours, buried in Jonah’s body or taking Jonah into his, but a blowjob could set him off so fast that he rarely asked for them, because it ended things so soon.
Right now, Jonah didn’t care. He needed to feel Garrett. He unfastened Garrett’s pants and pulled the silky material down just far enough for Garrett’s cock to spring free, then eased his hips forward. “C’mon now,” Jonah murmured when Garrett hesitated. “Don’t make me beg, darlin’.”
Garrett arched his back and gently thrust forward, and Jonah let him, opening his mouth and doing the best he could to take him in. The position wasn’t a good one for depth, so Jonah made up for it by being active, sucking the head of Garrett’s cock as he pulled back, laving his tongue against the smooth shaft as he pressed back in, and all the time stroking Garrett’s bare ass and the small of his back. He knew this man, knew him inside and out, knew what turned him on and what made him go off. It was heady, having that kind of knowledge of another person, being so intimate with them. Jonah had never been like this with anyone else, and he couldn’t imagine wanting to.
“Mmm,” Garrett hummed, pushing Jonah’s hair back and watching avidly as his cock disappeared between Jonah’s lips. “Oh, that’s just…so pretty. You don’t think you’re pretty, but I d-do, I know better, you’re so—ahh!” Garrett’s eyes fluttered shut as Jonah dragged his nails over his lover’s smooth skin. The marks wouldn’t last long, they never did, but right now they’d be bright spots of sensation, prickling and hot. Jonah smoothed his hands over the reddened skin, then repeated the scratching motion, urging Garrett deeper. He could feel him against the back of his throat now, blunt and hard and wet, so eager, so close already.
Garrett let go of the chair with one hand and cupped the back of Jonah’s head, lifting him up a bit and curling his fingers tight in Jonah’s hair. Garrett controlled the pace now, fast, shallow thrusts just barely shy of making Jonah gag, and he loved it. He knew it wasn’t what Garrett meant when he said he needed Jonah, but goddamn, did he ever feel needed now. He lets his legs fall a bit further apart, feeling the strain of his own erection, then dipped one hand in between Garrett’s thighs. The cloth made the fit tight and the position was cramped, but Jonah knew he didn’t need much room. He just had to rub a few times right up here—
“Ahh!” Garrett curled over Jonah’s head as he came, pulling back after the first few spurts to ease the pressure on Jonah’s throat. Jonah swallowed and stroked and moaned appreciatively, and a minute later, after only a little bit of fumbling, his husband was back on his lap, kissing him with vicious satisfaction.
“You,” Garrett said between hard, biting kisses, “you are my favorite, did you know that? My absolute fucking favorite.”
“Better be,” Jonah managed. “Gare…”
“I’ll pay you back,” Garrett said with a grin. “I’ll pay you back right now, in this chair. You can strip me down and fuck me, or you can watch the stars go by while I go down on you, your choice. Right now, but you have to pick fast, or I pick for you.”
“Incoming hail: sender identified as Olympian Port Authority: signal indicates that you are leaving official Olympian space: response required.”
Jonah groaned loudly. “Fucking sons of—”
Garrett was already in stitches. “It could be worse,” he gasped around his laughter. “At least they waited for me to finish.”
“This is why doin’ this here’s a bad idea,” Jonah grumbled.
“Oh, it’s not so bad. You’re right here to send them a quick message, and then you can get back to a nice, long, slow…something with me.”
“Response required. Please respond.”
“Hold that thought,” Jonah told Garrett, then flicked on the comm. “Understood, OPA.” He sent the signals for Response Received, All Well and Signing Off, waited to get confirmation that each signal was received, then finally turned back to his husband.
“Now, where were we?”